


Just To Damn Me

by taibhsemisteire



Series: To Build a Home [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Deadlock McCree, I threw blizzard's timelines out the window a bit for this fic ngl, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, SO, more to be added later - Freeform, sorta - Freeform, there's also that, young mchanzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-12 15:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taibhsemisteire/pseuds/taibhsemisteire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadlock received an offer from the Shimada Group, and what does any good gang do before getting down to business with a new client? Send a scout to check them out. Not Jesse's usual mission, but boredom had set in, so Hanamura seemed like a good idea; until following the eldest Shimada around ruined first his pride, then his sleep schedule, and why not add his heart to that list while he was at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> I am a very lazy writer who has been working on this on and off for too long know (OTL). I liked the idea of posting when I had the plot fleshed out and a decent amount written because otherwise updates would take forever, so here we go! This will be part 1 of a 2 part series once I figure out what to name the series, so, uh, enjoy!

Jesse McCree always prided himself in being a man who never cared about goodbyes.  

He was a there-and-gone type of guy, one who liked causing storms and running before the consequences reared their ugly heads. Goodbye was sort of his thing. He never stayed in one place too long; Deadlock suited him just fine for that reason.  

He'd never settled down as a kid, if he was honest. Most of what he remembered was not giving a shit about school (he wasn't dumb, but he wasn't the academic type either), falling in with the 'wrong crowds', and dealing with more than enough whacks about the head from his mother for it. She'd been disappointed. He'd been out the door soon as he turned 16. The Deadlocks were offering a lot more than home life at the time. 

The other reason Deadlock suited him was their serious but laid-back way of doing things. They were clever guys, that was for sure — clever enough to know sticking one son at the top of everybody else was a quick way to run themselves right into the hands of the law. They'd started as a gang, and big as they got, they remained a gang. Everything was a group effort, which gave everyone involved a certain sense of freedom while they did what they did. Everybody had their specialities, and Jesse made good use of his.  

He was one of their best shots, and when he wanted, one of their quietest. He did a lot of bodyguard ops, a lot of heist ops, a lot of stealth ops... He did most of what he was asked to do, always itching to get out and at it, and he loved it. He felt like he was built for this work. As long as something occupied his mind and body, he was happy, and there was always something to occupy a man at Deadlock. 

In the early days, he only drew the line at anything that he felt morally obligated to draw the line at. He didn't like interrogating, he didn't like drugs, and he didn't like buying people. He'd made the last two pretty clear early on in a somewhat minor incident involving two new guys and two broken noses, so that didn't come up very often these days. The only other thing he didn't like getting involved in was any 'official' business, so to speak. 

Deadlock had a lot of business meetings with potential contacts every so often when they needed to widen their horizons a little, but he didn't like it and usually just played bouncer or muscle. Sometimes, the contacts came to them. In the most important case to Jesse, it was the latter. They'd received a request, or an offer, from a group overseas, and checking it out was put to Jesse. He'd gotten ready to say no until it was explained that he wasn't being sent as a rep; he was being sent to check out the contact. 

Stealth. That he could do.  

Accepting that mission was probably one of the biggest decisions he'd ever made in his life, and it was a long time before he decided whether it was for the best or not. At the time, that was how he found himself sitting in a tea house in Hanamura sipping at god knows what while he kept a careful eye on the street through the window.  

Hanamura was alright. It was a bit of a culture shock, that was for sure, but like any other non-Western city that expected tourists, it had its fair share of familiar food and activities. It was the food he'd been most worried about after trying out a few local things already and realizing there was a method to a lot of it and he wasn't about to go asking how to put some food in his face. The tea was different too; he wasn't really sure what he'd ordered, but it was alright. He didn't dislike it. 

His mission was to observe their contact and gather as much local intel as possible, while avoiding giving himself away as Deadlock and getting into any 'unfavourable situations'. That last part wasn't defined to him, but he was smart enough to know it just meant to keep his head down. The Shimada group was his target. He'd been told they'd be easy to find, but it was a lot easier than he'd thought. Everyone knew where their estate was in the heart of the city, which he'd decided was pretty clever once he'd thought about it. They could have people everywhere in a somewhat dense population and it'd be hard to figure out exactly where they all were.  

Which was probably why it was so easy to get eyes on Shimada himself, who he'd spotted several times in the last week since he'd arrived. He no longer wondered over how easy it would be to gun the man down because he also knew whoever did would never get out of the city alive, and as far as their empire went, he had two sons ready to continue for him. Which led him to his next observation: he'd never seen the three of them in the same place at the same time, probably to avoid them all being taken out in one go. 

In fact, he'd yet to get eyes on the eldest son at all. The younger one—Genji Shimada—was out and about pretty often. The locals seemed to like him. He liked drinking, partying, and sleeping around, which was something Jesse could admire in a guy, even if he felt a bit past the kinda partying Genji enjoyed. From what Jesse had picked up about the Shimada group so far, Genji definitely didn't fit in. He didn't seem to care a whole lot, which would make him an easy in for anybody with not so friendly intentions. 

Shimada himself came and went maybe once every second day, always dressed immaculately, always accompanied by a large guard, not all of which were local. Some of them were omnic, some were white guys, some weren't. Jesse didn't really care where they were from once he knew they weren't from here. That meant Shimada probably hired from other circles, other contacts, to get the best of the best that was available to him. Made sense, and Jesse found himself wondering how much time and effort it would take to fake the background and credentials to sneak your way into that guard. 

It was running into evening time now. Genji was out probably 'till late. Shimada had returned an hour or two ago. The guard hadn't rotated to the night shift yet. Jesse was irked at having nothing on the older son yet. He'd already made up his mind that if he got nothing today, it was time for a good old fashioned night-time stake-out. He sighed, looking down at his cold tea and lifting himself out of his chair. He'd get a bite to eat, a shower, ditch all electronics and change into something more suited to sneaking around at night. Hopefully he'd catch  _something_. 

 

 

Stake-outs were the worst.  

He hadn't wasted any time back at the hotel, and was sat on top of an archway some distance from the estate but with a clear view in some plain black boots, combats, and a tight long sleeve black shirt. There was nothing to do and too much staring at nothing, waiting for something. Genji had returned an hour or two ago, and around the same time the rest of the city seemed to shut down for the night, so he couldn't even do any people watching. He was getting real sick of staring at the roofs and entrances of the Shimada estate, bored and picking at his gloves, when he finally caught sight of Hanzo Shimada. 

It was three in the morning, and he was getting ready to pack it in when he noticed the movement darting across one of the walls of the estate. Someone was running across it. Jesse sat up, crouching and ready to move as he watched the shadowed figure cross the length of the wall and jump down into the street in front of the estate, darting away at speed. Jesse cursed and landed noisily, remaining crouched under the archway for a moment. The figure didn't slow down, so he assumed he wasn't heard. They turned a corner, and Jesse made chase. 

He maintained a distance of the length of a street as he followed, ninety-percent sure he finally had eyes on Hanzo Shimada and not wanting to lose him already. He hadn't expected his notion to keep watch in the middle of the night to actually bear any fruit, and he didn't want to waste any time. The more he moved, pausing every now and again to hide behind a car while listening for anyone else watching, he came to realize they were headed toward the edge of the city. What business did Shimada's eldest son have outside the city in the middle of the night? 

About fifteen minutes into his crouch, run, crouch routine, he turned a corner and realized he had no more visual. Shit. It was a long retail street, but with several smaller ones to both left and right. His quarry was moving too fast for him to start picking streets at random and be wrong, the chase would be long over. There was nothing to be done about it. He whispered out a curse, resisting the urge to kick the nearest trash can. 

He headed back to his hotel in a foul mood, kicking at stray cherry blossom leaves on the pavements as he went. 

 

 

Not one to give up in a hurry, Jesse spent most of the next day catching up on some well needed rest, donning the same dark clothes when evening fell, ready to try again. 

At times like this, he wished he had bothered stocking up on gadgets to give him a helping hand. He preferred trusting his own instincts—they hadn't failed him yet—but if that was Hanzo last night, he was a  _lot_  faster than Jesse. A lot more quiet, too, which made following all the harder. He could just turn it into an all-out chase and aim to incapacitate, but if it  _was_  Shimada's son—bad idea. 

He waited in the streets this time, sat on the remains of an old table in a side-alley beside a restaurant. He had no view of the estate, but this was the direction the figure had gone last night, so at the very least he might get a better view before he lost them again.  

3:00am arrived. Jesse watched his analog watch, glanced up into the street, checked his watch again. 3:01. He resisted the urge to tap his foot impatiently, moving into a crouch again and trying to blend in with the trash a bit more, staring into the street in front of him.  

3:10 came and Jesse heard a noise. Ten minutes off was close enough to be routine, he thought with a small surge of triumph. The need to catch up wasn't as urgent if this was a nightly thing. The longer he remained undiscovered, the more he had a chance of seeing. He just needed to follow for longer than he had the previous night. 

He eyed the opening into the street expectantly, heart beating fast and almost stopping when there was finally movement.  

He'd only seen for a split second, and his intel on Hanzo Shimada only included some old, somewhat blurry photos, but there was no mistaking the man as a member of the guard or something. He was dressed too finely for that, and while the small glimpse wasn't enough to say for certain that there was familial similarity, the build and shape of his face definitely put Jesse in mind of Shimada. 

He blinked, counted to three, and made his way out, resuming the chase. 

He followed for another fifteen minutes before losing visual once again. 

He returned to his hotel in a slightly better mood than last time. 

 

 

This became his routine for another week. He'd given up on following Genji entirely in favour of this more interesting hunt, and there was no point risking his life by following Shimada at all. This was  _way_  more interesting. Nobody back home seemed to find the length of his examination too weird. Jesse explained it as wanting to do a thorough job given this could be one of their biggest clients if all checked out, and nobody wanted to question him by comparing how long it took him to do that to how good he was at doing it. 

It was probably stupid, in retrospect, to spend so much time and energy following one person, but it was interesting. He definitely wasn't bored anymore, even if he returned most nights with no answers, simply covering a bit more distance each time. He had scribbles all over the map of the city he'd picked up when he first arrived, marking a bit more on the trail each time, adding good hiding spots to start from the following night. Hanzo was headed to the same place every night, that much was for sure. Very predictable. He was either very confident or very foolish.  

His eighth night was when he fucked up. Or got lucky. Depended on how you looked at it. 

He'd been checking out the map again, eyes constantly drawing to a lake on the outskirts of the city. Hanzo seemed to be making a beeline right for it, but Jesse didn't want to assume anything considering the man already seemed to take several unnecessary turns in some spots. Still, he had a gut feeling about the lake, so this time he decided to wait there. If he saw nothing by 4:00am, then he was probably wrong, but he'd wait 'till 5 anyway just in case. 

His gut was right, like it usually was, but whether or not he'd done well by listening to it or not was debatable for a while. 

It was actually a beautiful spot. The water was clear and clean, probably treated somehow to look that good considering how much vegetation also grew in it. There were some bare cherry blossom trees littering the area around it, which meant they were all natural, not made to bloom all year round like the ones in the city. The city itself was visible at the same time unless you had your back to it. It was a decent sight, and Jesse'd bet it'd be even prettier if the moon wasn't covered by cloud. 

The downside to waiting all the way out here was that there was no light from the city to help him out. Shadow was everywhere and nowhere all at once with no light to cast it, which made it harder to see anything if you wanted to remain hidden at the same time. He really wish he'd invested in some sort of night-vision assist now, but no electronics still sat better with him, 

He climbed one of the trees, cursing the lack of foliage to blend into, but decided the thick branches would have to do the job. If Hanzo didn't think he'd been followed, he probably wouldn't look up into each and every tree anyway, and Jesse didn't think he'd keep the same routine for the last week if he'd had any ideas of being followed. 

He sighed, settling in for the wait, determined to not doze off in the meantime. 

He wondered, idly, about Hanzo Shimada while he waited. He was a pretty important figure for the Shimada group. Next in line for the big seat and all. From what he'd gathered from locals, the man wasn't seen very often, didn't seem to head out and mingle like Genji, wasn't as liked as Genji. He wasn't disliked either. People just seemed to have no opinion on him with nothing to go on. If he was gonna investigate these people and go home with a certain yes or no on whether or not to do business, he had to get a read on Hanzo too. The mystery of it was also the best thing that'd happened since he got here, which was neither here nor there, probably. It was a job. It just turned out that it was becoming a fun job.  

He hadn't realized he'd drifted off into his thoughts until a shuriken suddenly landed with a heavy thud in the tree only a few inches from his face. He cursed, not even bothering to keep it down, and on some weird impulse, checked his watch. 3:30am. Shit. He'd blown his cover. 

He looked down into the grass around the lake, seeing nobody. He knew what direction the projectile had to have come from, but it was too damn dark to see anything that wasn't close enough. This had been a bad idea.  

He had to either confront whatever was waiting for him on the ground, or make a break for it, but either way he had to get out of the tree. He braced himself, letting gravity take him and landing with a roll, drawing his pistol at the same time. His heart beat heavily as he looked around. Where the fuck was he? He  _had_  to have been over there somewhere to have thrown the shuriken from that angle, there was no-- 

His thoughts were cut short abruptly as something jumped him from behind, then there was a knee on his back and something cold against the right side of his neck. A dagger? Another shuriken? Who knew, but it wasn't gonna be good. His gun fell out of his hand, lying several feet away. He was having trouble breathing lying flat in the grass with a weight on his back, but he waited for  _something_  to happen, trying not to panic. 

"Um," he grunted eventually, nerves getting the better of him. Blades of grass got stuck in his lips. 

"Why have you been following me?" A voice cut through the tension in accented English. "Are you an unskilled assassin?"  

_Why the fuck am I not dead yet._  "Excuse you," Jesse ground out, hoping he wasn't chewing grass and wondering how much weirder this situation could get. "If I was a fuckin' assassin you'd be dead days ago, I'm a--" What was he? "I'm a scout for Deadlock," he admitted, with no time to think up a lie and the truth probably more likely to keep him alive. 

"The Americans," the voice responded. "And how do I know if you are lying or not? A deal with your people is not so precious to stop me slitting your throat now and losing it."  

"I've got the damn tattoo on my left arm, check for yourself, for fuck's sake, and let me up already." 

It was definitely Hanzo, then. He stayed as still as possible, keeping his palms flat on the ground as Hanzo's left hand pulled up his sleeve. After a moment—probably while Hanzo was deciding whether or not to just kill him anyway—Hanzo finally released him and stood up. Jesse let out a deep exhale, heart still beating rapidly as he moved up onto his knees, rubbing the side of his neck and taking a look up at his attacker. 

Hanzo Shimada stood about three feet to his right, and was probably more heavily armed than just the dagger he was returning to the sheath strapped to the base of his back. His hair was long and straight and tied in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck, some falling over his face. He wore some sort of augmented, metallic boots which probably explained some of how he was able to move so quietly when he wanted to. The disdainful expression on his face as he looked down on Jesse probably shouldn't have been as hot as it was. 

With a sudden need to enforce his small height advantage, Jesse got to his feet, dusting himself off as he did so and whispering curses to himself. "Decided I get to live, huh? Not that I'm complainin'. Uh uh." 

"You do not seem to be that much of a threat." Hanzo responded with the raise of an eyebrow, arms crossed. Jesse felt a rush of anger deep in his chest, but Hanzo carried on before he could explain. "Your Deadlock sent you to investigate after our message, I assume." 

Jesse glared, then nodded.  

"Our man has been and gone several weeks ago from his investigation of you." Hanzo supplied with a hint of smugness. 

Jesse just frowned at him, unsure how to respond to that. "Well. You got us there, I guess." 

Hanzo turned his back on him and made his way toward the edge of the lake, stopping at the base of a tree there and sitting with his legs crossed. Jesse watched him move, eyeing him up and down. Nobody should be allowed to look that good while being as much of a lethal snob as Hanzo Shimada. Hanzo turned to look at him, then, and he supposed that was some sort of invitation to follow. 

He made his way over slowly, stopping to collect his gun and taking his time as Hanzo turned his gaze back to the lake. Jesse didn't sit down. 

"Have you learned much from your investigation so far?" 

Jesse shrugged. "Picked up a fair amount in the first few days, decided I'd better work for the rest of it. Kinda why you caught me sitting up a damn tree at three in the morning." 

"My brother keeps hours as inconvenient as myself. Have you been following him?" 

Jesse wondered how much more to share. Jesse also wondered why he wasn't killed on the spot. This entire conversation was throwing him off. This was uncharted territory. If he was caught already, it was probably better to be honest for the sake of the rest of Deadlock, in case Hanzo reported back to his father, which he probably would. He hadn't come here with any bad intentions, and if that made him seem harmless like Hanzo thought, well. Might as well keep it up. 

"He's easier to find than you, got a good enough look at him already." 

Hanzo hummed thoughtfully. "And what did you think of what you saw?" 

Was that a trick question? That was probably a trick question. "I'm not sure what you want me to say to that, partner."  

"Our family—our group, has nothing to hide from Deadlock, if my father is considering you as clients. This includes my brother. Does he deter you from doing business?"  

Jesse shrugged. "I'm just one guy sent to get some info, I don't even know all the details of the deal. I'm not paid to think about it, I'm just paid to say what I saw." 

Hanzo looked at him again, eyes narrowed. "What is your name?" 

Jesse crossed his arms. "It's 'Important, first name; Not'." 

"You know my name." Hanzo pointed out, raising both eyebrows. "I can just look at the intelligence our man provided us with and search for something matching your description." 

"Who's to say I wasn't out on mission when your man was out with us?" 

Hanzo pulled a face. "You're being very difficult, considering I allowed you to live." 

"I'm being difficult 'cause I enjoy still livin', thanks." Jesse grumbled. He probably should've extracted himself from this situation long ago, to be honest. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "You gonna say you saw me?" 

Hanzo remained silent for a good thirty seconds, staring out at the lake. "Have you finished your investigation?" 

"The investigation don't matter, I'm asking if I should hop on the next flight outta here." 

Hanzo shrugged. "Ask me again tomorrow." 

Jesse returned to his hotel that night realizing he didn't ask any of the questions he'd wanted to, but at least he was still alive. He didn't sleep well. 

 

 

For some reason involving a complete and total lack of self-preservation probably, Jesse returned to the lake the following night. He didn't go near the Shimada estate that day out of sheer paranoia, and he considered switching hotels, but after a few hours of tossing and turning he figured he'd have been busted long ago if Hanzo knew where he was staying and reported back about him. 

He headed out to the lake a little before the usual time at 2:30am and found Hanzo there already, sat under the same tree Jesse had left him under the previous night. 

"I hope you don't mind that I arrived earlier tonight," Hanzo began without turning to look at him. "I thought it might save you the trouble of climbing a tree this time." 

Jesse gave a dissatisfied grunt. "If I remember right I had a question for ya." 

Hanzo did turn then, as Jesse drew near the tree, choosing once again not to sit. "I haven't decided my answer yet, but you can ask again anyway if you wish." 

"...So you haven't told anybody 'bout me yet?" Jesse frowned. Hanzo's gaze made him uncomfortable. Even though Jesse chose his stance carefully so that he would be the one looking down, the way Hanzo's eyes seemed to stare right through him made him feel like maybe he wasn't in charge as much as he thought.  

Hanzo gave a small smirk and looked out to the lake again. "I haven't reported your presence. But that isn't to say that I won't." 

"You're a real confusin' fella, y'know." 

Hanzo didn't respond to that, and Jesse had no idea how to proceed. Should he leave again and ask again tomorrow? Should he leave again and jump on a plane? It was probably real stupid of him to still be here, to be honest. Reckless. Practically his middle name, though. The real question he wanted to ask, was why? Why hadn't Hanzo killed him yesterday, and why hadn't he reported his presence? Was it to maintain the deal? Hanzo didn't seem to care a whole lot about it, though, except to brag, and meeting with a stealth agent at an empty lake in the middle of the night was  _way_  too risky just for the deal. 

It was confusing as hell, but it was damn interesting, and Jesse mentally cursed himself as he lowered himself to the ground. He sat down, not facing the lake, but facing to the right of Hanzo, keeping himself out of the man's field of vision and vice versa. He figured it he couldn't see Hanzo looking at him, he might be able to proceed with a bit more confidence. 

"Why do you come out here to the middle of nowhere every night?" 

"Is that important to your investigation?" 

Jesse snorted. "A man's allowed his curiosity." 

"And if the question is too personal?" 

"You made shit personal when you decided not to tattle on me, don't ya think?" 

Hanzo seemed to consider his point. "It is peaceful here." 

Jesse thought about that. It answered more questions than one, actually. It implied it wasn't peaceful at home for him, that there was something he needed to get away from. Wasn't Genji's drama anyway cause Genji was hardly ever there. His father? The group itself? He couldn't ask outright, but he could keep poking at it slowly for more pieces to the puzzle. 

"Can't argue with that, but why so late?" 

"Because it is easier to come here undetected at night." 

"Except  _I_  noticed, and I apparently lack  _skill_." 

Hanzo barked out a short laugh. "I was aware of you following me since nine nights ago, I assume that was the first time. I  _chose_  to allow it." 

Jesse whistled. "You gotta be real damn bored to play it risky like that." 

Hanzo shifted a little, and Jesse looked over to see Hanzo turning slightly to consider him. "And you? Were you not also bored? An investigation mission is very dull for Jesse McCree, considering his previous mission record." 

"How--" Jesse stopped as Hanzo smirked, shaking his head. He'd been too surprised to think to deny it. "Well damn." 

Hanzo grinned a little wider and shrugged. "I lied when I said our man had returned already. You told your gang you wanted to investigate very thoroughly before making a decision, yet you have only been focusing on me this past week." 

"Course I fuckin' was, the rest of your family's easier to get eyes on." Jesse crossed his arms. He really should just leave, this mission was becoming a disaster. 

"Purposefully so." 

"...What's that supposed to mean?" 

Hanzo sighed. "If they are seen, and seen often, observers are not prompted to dig deeper. They assume there is little to hide." 

Jesse rubbed a hand across his forehead. "You're sayin' it's a front." 

"Precisely." 

"D'you  _want_  me to break into your house?" 

Hanzo gave another short laugh. "Do you think that you  _could_?" 

"I might surprise ya," Jesse grinned. 

There was a weird silence when Hanzo narrowed his eyes slightly while staring at Jesse, as if trying to decide if that could be true or not. Jesse felt a great need to break it under the scrutiny. 

"Why're you tellin' me this stuff, though?" 

Hanzo sniffed and looked away. "Because I do not feel you should do business with us." 

"You think we're not good enough or something, huh?" 

"The opposite." Hanzo shrugged, his tone becoming less personal. "The Shimada group's influence and power extends far enough." 

Jesse had no idea what to say to that. He didn't want to ask more questions; he could sense Hanzo shutting them down already. He couldn't exactly go home with this answer, though. Sorry guys, Shimada's son said it's a bad idea, don't ask me why cause I don't know. There was still more info to be pulled out of Hanzo, though, that was for sure, and talking to him was a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable than staking out the estate and trying to get close to Shimada.  

He decided to go for jokes instead, grinning. "So we  _are_  good, huh, nice to hear you admit it." 

"That is  _not_  what I said." 

"By proxy, it sure as hell is." 

"Deadlock are as good as the idiot agent they sent to investigate who doesn't know how to move silently enough to prevent his near death." 

"Well  _you_  weren't exactly invisible either." 

"As I said, I chose to allow your chase. Did you know where I was when I taunted you out of your tree, hm?" 

"Maybe you can teach me, then, see if you're surprised enough when I break into your house." Jesse leaned back against the tree, watching Hanzo and grinning. "Got any good food in there? Might be hungry work." 

Hanzo just stared at him, eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, probably wondering whether to take him seriously or not. After a moment, he sniffed and looked up at the sky. "You could start by procuring more suitable footwear. Those boots are ridiculous." 

Jesse looked down at his feet. "These? Should see what I wear in the daytime, partner." 

"I'm not sure that sounds like I would want to." 

"Won't know 'till you do." 

"Your hair should be tied back, also. I spotted you in the tree when the wind took it." 

He knew he'd been due a haircut. "Looks better this way, though." 

"Are you worried about appearances when you are aiming to not be seen?" 

Jesse shrugged. "If I'm caught, my good looks might save me." 

Hanzo raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down slowly. "You think so?" He asked, dripping with sarcasm. 

"I dunno, you tell me, darlin'." Oops. That might've been a bad move. 

Hanzo turned his face away. "Return tomorrow without those horrific work boots and perhaps I will answer that question." 

 

 

Jesse spent more time the following day agonizing over calling Hanzo  _darlin'_ than he did over changing his boots. He honestly didn't believe the boots made a difference and that Hanzo was just nit-picking for the hell of it, but he'd play along, he guessed. He did give some time for getting an eye on Genji again—seemed important not to focus all his time on talking Hanzo around, and it was definitely important if there were any changes to Genji's behavior while he was meeting with Hanzo at night. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, though, and if Genji knew he was being watched or what Hanzo was up to, he was very good at hiding it. 

With regards to the shoes, though, he did manage to pick up a pair of inconspicuous tight black boots with zips, no laces, and no pattern on the rubber soles. Probably wasn't what Hanzo meant, but all he said was not to return wearing the old boots, so. Maybe he'd have more to say if he wanted to criticize the new ones, too. 

As an afterthought, he also picked up some hair ties. Definitely overdue a haircut. He grabbed a shower when he was done snooping and shopping, allowing himself more time to second guess what he was doing. He threw on another long-sleeved black shirt, the same gloves he'd been wearing before, zipped the new boots up over his combats, and pulled his hair into a low ponytail at the base of his neck. 

Hanzo had beat him there again, and Jesse made no effort to hide himself as he approached. Hanzo was standing this time, arms crossed and leaning against the usual tree. He blinked when he saw Jesse's hair, then cleared his throat and looked away.  

"You are still very loud," was the only comment he made on Jesse's efforts.  

"Wasn't tryin' not to be. Had a very short deadline to do some shopping." 

"You would have had plenty of time had you not been following Genji around." 

Jesse stopped about two feet from Hanzo, then swore quietly under his breath. "You sneaky bastard." 

Hanzo grinned. "Did you not suggest I take a look at your daytime attire? It was ridiculous, by the way.  _Spurs_?" 

Jesse shrugged. "The style's got its charms." 

"There is nothing stylish nor charming about walking around Hanamura looking like a cowboy. You draw attention to yourself." 

"I look like a tourist," Jesse pointed out. "Nothin' more." 

Hanzo looked at him again, tilting his head as if conceding the point. "Let me see these boots." He changed the subject suddenly, pointing down at Jesse's feet.  

Jesse lifted a foot, pausing as Hanzo suddenly moved into a crouch, taking his foot in his hand and turning it so he could examine the soles. Jesse swallowed nervously, warming up a little. He wasn't even sure why—he was only touching his shoe for Christ's sake, and it wasn't like Hanzo hadn't been sitting on his back a few nights ago. Something about the scrutiny just seemed to get to him. He cleared his throat, shaking off his sudden nerves. "Do I pass the test?" 

Hanzo flicked the zip with his finger, then hummed and rose, shrugging. "You should remove the..." He waved a hand, searching for the word. "The part that hangs from the zip. While the noise does not compare to the sound of  _spurs_ , no noise is preferable." 

Jesse let his foot touch solid ground again and huffed. "That wasn't an answer." 

"The answer is that for now, you pass." 

Jesse grinned. "The hair helped, right?" 

"The wind can no longer catch it." Hanzo sniffed. 

"You said you'd answer  _my_  question if I passed." 

"Did I?" 

Jesse shifted from one foot to the other. "Not gonna get out of it that easy." 

"You want to know if I didn't kill you because you are.... good looking." 

"….When you put it like  _that_ , it sounds kinda--" 

"It didn't influence my decision to leave you alive." 

Jesse raised his eyebrows, trying to read Hanzo's expression, but he'd turned his face away again, just like when Jesse'd called him darlin'. Was he embarrassed? He stepped closer. "So you do think I'm good looking." He voiced, teasingly. 

"You know, I  _can_  change my mind and kill you." 

"Was it the hair tie? It was the spurs, wasn't it." 

Hanzo glanced at him, then rolled his eyes, shoving him in the shoulder without much strength to and and moving away, seating himself cross-legged closer to the lake. Jesse followed on autopilot, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to stay where he was.  _This is stupid, this is dangerous, this has nothing to do with your mission, this actually hinders your mission._ He felt none of the earlier embarrassment as he seated himself down beside Hanzo, ankles crossed in front of him and hands in the grass behind him, supporting him. Sometimes the stupid thing was just  _really_  appealing. 

"So," he started, avoiding looking at Hanzo and watching a leaf drift across the lake instead. "Think I could break into your place in my shiny new shoes?" 

"If you really wanted to make it a challenge, you should try in the spurs." 

" _Knew_  you liked the spurs." 

He could feel Hanzo suddenly turn to look at him. "What are you doing?" 

"Just havin' some fun, darlin'." 

"You are supposed to be on a mission." 

"And you're supposed to turn me in, yet here we are." 

Hanzo didn't seem to have an answer to that, and Jesse was still afraid to look over in case he caught the moment he went too far and Hanzo decided to kill him. He didn't think he had the speed to win that fight, and he'd rather not see it coming.  

After a brief silence, Jesse finally looked. Hanzo had turned back to the lake, eyes narrowed in thought. "What are  _you_  doing?" 

Hanzo looked at him again, one corner of his lips raised in a small smirk. "Having some fun." 

He hadn't said it entirely jokingly, so Jesse took a minute to decide how to follow. "I guess you don't get a lot of time for fun," he commented quietly. "Apart from night-time trips to a lake, I guess." 

Hanzo shrugged. "It is a busy business." 

Jesse was starting to think he knew why Hanzo didn't kill him, and why he was playing things so weirdly open and risky. Probably it was a build up of a lot of stuff for a long time. He was never out the way Genji was, was definitely more reserved than Genji was. He had a lot riding on him, too, being the oldest son. His whole life had probably been about molding him into the kind of leader they needed, probably more so lately as Genji got older and became an obvious lost cause in that area. If Jesse was right, Hanzo was only about his age, but still. Early twenties was still twenty-plus years of living a life you'd been told to live. Maybe Hanzo had other things he wanted to do. 

"Genji doesn't seem so busy." He pointed out, making sure to keep his tone low neutral. 

Hanzo snorted. "Genji can do as he pleases." 

"But you can't, I get it." It was kinda sad. He didn't pity Hanzo, really, he just understood him more. If he put himself in Hanzo's shoes, he'd probably have been thrown out or worse years ago. He wouldn't be able to hack it. "Must be hard." 

Hanzo frowned. "Things are a certain way in certain situations. Everyone has limits and restrictions placed upon them in some form or another." 

"I got where I am actively  _avoiding_ restrictions, to be honest." 

"And somehow that led you to a gang?" 

"Eh, Deadlock pretty much let me pick and choose what missions I run with." 

That seemed to surprise Hanzo. "They seemed more organized, from my information. I understand there is no official leader, but you all seemed to be divided by specialty all the same. You all have roles to play, no?" 

Jesse pushed some hair that fell forward from the tie out of his eyes and thought about it. "That's true, but nobody picks for you what role you got. I enjoy travellin', shootin', and makin' noise, and it just so happens I'm good at it." 

"What brought you to  _this_  mission, then?" 

"….I got a little bored, I guess." 

Hanzo raised an eyebrow, as if his point had been made. Hanzo was bored, too, he supposed. 

"Lemme put it this way," he elaborated. "I wanted to try something different, and I ended up with Deadlock cause it's a place where I can do that, if I wanna." 

"Travelling, shooting," Hanzo made quotation marks with his fingers. "and 'making noise' seems much more exciting than an investigation." 

"I realized that my second day here," Jesse admitted, ruefully. "But then this weird thing happened where a fancy fuckin' ninja shot me out of a tree with a shuriken and then sat on my back." 

Hanzo laughed, and Jesse watched, wondering if maybe he was starting to have a problem. "You thought that was exciting? That was  _nothing_." 

"It was somethin', alright."  _Lord help me but I wanna see what else you can do,_  he thought, and yeah, he was definitely starting to have a problem. 

"Let me know if you get bored again," Hanzo said dryly, but still smiling. "I'm sure I can think of much worse to subject you to." 

"I sure hope so," Jesse let out, laying on the sarcasm, but looking away all the same. 

"Do you find near death experiences exciting?" 

"...Yeah, I guess? I mean, it's why I do a lot of what I do, come to think of it. You know that feelin' when you're a kid, and you're doin' something you're not supposed to, but you do it all the same for the thrill? It's kinda like that, but the older you get, the harder you gotta chase it." 

"And if you chase it too far?" 

"I always lived to  _not_  regret it so far, so ask me again if you ever find me lyin' in a ditch somewhere." 

Hanzo looked off into the distance again and gave a small hum of thought. "An interesting theory." 

"You don't think it might be part of why you sneak off without bodyguards every night? Cause to me that seemed pretty dumb for somebody in your position at first." 

"I have lived to not regret it so far." Hanzo grinned. "All I've had to disturb me so far is a foolish cowboy who talks too much." 

"Takes two to carry a conversation, partner." 

"Perhaps we both have latent death wishes, isn't that morbid." 

"Prefer the word bored, to be honest." 

"For entertainment's sake then, tomorrow you must attempt to arrive without my noticing." 

"Assuming I don't beat you here." 

"If you play it that way, you will ruin the game."  

Jesse gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine." 

"I will be sitting where I currently am, how I currently am." 

"Alright, challenge accepted." 

 

 

Jesse figured Hanzo had set him up for a challenge he wasn't gonna win considering Hanzo was gonna be expecting him and listening out for him. He also spent every night in this area so knew what sounded out of place. His plan so far had been moving slowly since he hit the grass, and he'd been moving closer every time the wind picked up and created a rustling in the trees. How he had a problem though, because sitting closer to the lake meant Hanzo was further away from the trees, so the closer he got, the more likely he was to be heard. 

He watched him from the group of trees he'd been sitting in when he was caught. True to his word, Hanzo was in practically the same spot he'd been in yesterday, legs crossed and everything. Jesse couldn't get a clear view of his face from this angle, but he was probably listening intently. He watched the wind play with his hair, moving it across his back occasionally, and wondered if this is what he did an all the other nights before Jesse started bugging him. He struck a somewhat lonely, solitary image, with the bare cherry blossom trees in the distance, the cloudy night making the lake in front of him appear practically black. It made something hollow yet aggressive resonate within Jesse, and he decided he'd better stop watching and start moving before he got weird about it. 

He took six slow steps and Hanzo spoke. 

"A better attempt than I'd imagined." 

Jesse cursed. "You didn't even turn around," he complained, giving up his sneaking and just strolling over. 

"I didn't need to see you when I could hear you." 

"Could've been nice about it and looked anyway." 

Hanzo did finally look when he reached him, eyes lingering once again on the hair Jesse had tied back. "Is your confidence so fragile?" 

"Wow," Jesse sat down heavily, placing a hand over his heart as if deeply offended. " _Someone_  woke up on the wrong side of the futon." 

"I sleep in a  _bed_ ," Hanzo clarified for some reason, shaking his head. "I brought something for you, but perhaps if I'm so cruel I will just hold on to it." 

"Aw, c'mon, I didn't mean it," Jesse protested, shooting down the part of him asking him to confront why he was suddenly so warm and excited at the thought of Hanzo bringing something for him. 

Hanzo snorted. "You look like a kicked dog." 

"Then quit teasin' me." 

"This evening I spotted you eat daifuku mochi. You did not seem to enjoy it." Hanzo commented, lifting a box that was covered with cloth from the grass to his left. 

"...Okay, you saw me yesterday, and today, is  _someone_  actually leavin' the house cause I'm not lookin'?" Jesse questioned, trying not to sound too disgruntled. He did want to know what Hanzo had brought, but how the  _hell_  was Hanzo getting eyes on him when he would've had bodyguards trailing after him. 

"Perhaps I had business to attend to. You did not answer my question, though." 

Jesse sighed and shrugged, making a mental note to bring that back up later though. "Nah, the filling was too weird." 

"I assumed so," Hanzo nodded and handed over the box. 

Jesse didn't reach for it too eagerly, but he did set to unwrapping the cloth as fast as possible. Underneath was a plain white box like you'd get at a bakery, and he pulled it open carefully. "What's this?" 

"This is mitirashi dango," Hanzo explained, leaning forward and pointing into the box. "They are similar to mochi, but the taste may be less of a culture shock." 

"….I didn't catch that name properly, sorry." 

Hanzo let out a breath and changed tone, as if explaining something to a child. "They are a snack served on skewers with a sweet soy sauce glazing." 

"So they're kinda candy?" 

Hanzo shrugged. "They are better if you are unaccustomed to the food." 

"Alright." Jesse nodded and reached for one, handling the skewer gently between his fingers. There were three small balls of it on each skewer, and he wondered if it was rude to just eat an entire one from the top. He shrugged and did it anyway. "S'good!" 

Hanzo reached over and grabbed one too. "In moderation, I suppose." 

"You're gonna need to bring me more cause I already forgot what you said this was." Jesse did really like them. He finished the one he was eating and bit off another, making a small noise of distress as some sauce dripped off onto his shirt.  

Hanzo chuckled and shook his head. "Just go out, look confused and keep repeating mitirashi dango, someone will understand I'm sure." 

"Mita what now?" 

"Mi-ti-ra-shi dango." Hanzo explained slowly, finishing off his skewer. 

Jesse shook his head. "Nope, I'm never gonna remember, you're just gonna have to keep bringin' me presents." 

"When you have yet to thank me for this one?" 

Jesse swallowed his treat, looking over, slightly sheepish. "...Thank you. Want more?" He offered, holding the box out. Hanzo didn't seem sure at first, but he eventually took another. 

"You didn't remove the moving part of the zip from your boots," Hanzo stated thoughtfully after a brief silence. 

"No way are you tellin' me  _that's_  how you heard me," Jesse objected, grabbing the second last one and offering the box to Hanzo, who took the last one without even thinking this time. 

"It wasn't, but I can hear it now and I remembered." 

"Yeah, I forgot about it too. Honestly, though? Probably never gonna need to wear these again when I'm back to my usual stuff." 

"I thought you had plans to break into my father's estate?" 

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that too for a minute." 

"How do you get by with that memory?" 

Jesse huffed. "Those things were tasty, I wasn't thinkin' bout breaking and entering, but if you got more of them in your kitchen then I'm definitely gonna break in and have me a midnight snack like I mentioned before." 

"Are you going to report the contents of our pantry to your Deadlock gang?" 

"Maybe, maybe not." 

"There is more than likely nothing there that you would eat, if you consider cultural differences. The family employs cooks and many of the meals are very traditional." 

"Is the miti... Is this stuff traditional?" 

Hanzo smirked. "It is kinder to your weak American palate." 

"Ouch." Jesse couldn't disagree, though. The stuff he had earlier today really didn't agree to him. Maybe it grew on people. "Thanks again, though. Maybe someday I'll treat you to some of the South's fine cuisine." 

"We have McDonald's here, too." 

"….I'm gonna go right ahead and pretend you didn't say that." 

 

 

Hanzo didn't show up the following night. Jesse gave it until maybe 5am, then started the walk back to his hotel, taking his time while figuring out his thoughts. He didn't want to go back to sleep now, there didn't seem to be much point, and it wasn't like the late-night meetings hadn't messed up his sleeping pattern enough anyway. He was very aware, as the city started waking up around him, of the hollow, disappointed feeling in his stomach, and he decided now while he had a break would be a good time to address what that meant. 

There wasn't even any point in pretending otherwise anymore; he liked Hanzo Shimada. He started on that revelation, for now. The talks weren't an investigation anymore, he was genuinely sharing parts of himself with Hanzo, and felt that Hanzo was doing the same. He liked him as a person, felt they got along well and would've gotten along even better if circumstances were different. He enjoyed their meetings, and it was very bad for his mission. 

Worse for his mission, though, was the rest. The flirting. The weird warmth that came to him when Hanzo said or did certain things. The fact that Hanzo wasn't shutting down his flirting. The way Hanzo's eyes always seemed to be drawn to his hair every now and again, the way he would catch Hanzo watching him out of the corner of his eye sometimes. Hanzo was  _very_  attractive, and it was a problem. Not because Jesse was a weak-at-the-knees kind of guy—he wasn't, but he was coming very close to it with Hanzo sometimes—but because his thoughts kept turning to wondering what Hanzo thought of him. Which was really,  _really_  bad for his mission. He shouldn't be wondering how Hanzo felt or how far he could take it—he should be shooting it down and going on with the investigation. 

He thought he was growing past these sorta thoughts and feelings, but if he genuinely considered it, his past dealings with finding people attractive never had the added problem of liking them as a person. Hook-ups were fun, yeah; sometimes he thought about them when he should've been concentrating, and maybe he got a little down in the dumps when they ended, but he'd never let it get this bad before.  

Maybe Hanzo not showing up was his chance to talk some sense into himself. Maybe the distance would offer clarity and he'd jump on a plane, go home, and tell Deadlock the Shimadas were bad news.  

Maybe he  _would_  just get back into bed and think about it later. 

 

 

Distance did not bring clarity, and Jesse once again found himself approaching a lake at 3am without the motivation to talk himself out of it. This was becoming an addiction.  

Hanzo was there this time, at least, waiting for him. When he spotted Jesse, he stood up, moving to meet him halfway, which didn't tug on Jesse's heartstrings  _at all_ , uh uh. 

"I'd wondered if you would come after my absence yesterday," he started, pulling an apologetic face. "Something came up." 

"Something came up and  _I_  didn't notice?" Jesse blinked. "Shit." 

"Not like that," Hanzo shook his head, walking alongside Jesse as they made their way to the usual tree. "Nothing business related. Genji came to my room when he returned last night, very inebriated and upset." 

"He got sad drunk, huh?" 

"I don't know, it was very odd." 

"He doesn't usually go that way?" 

Hanzo sat down in his spot, scratching at his neck as he thought. "He doesn't usually seek me out at all." 

"You guys don't speak a lot?" 

"We speak, just rarely anything of substance." 

Jesse threw himself down against the tree, resting his elbows on his knees. "But yesterday was somethin' more serious." 

"He was begging my forgiveness," Hanzo almost whispered, scowling out at the lake. "He seems to think I despise him for his choices, but insisted he is not sorry for them. I think he wanted acceptance more than forgiveness." 

"...Do you give him a hard time?" 

"No. But... we are no longer as close as we once were. I have more—tasks, and expectations made of me than he does, and his lifestyle takes precedence to him over seeking me out. He knows I cannot go to him, where he goes." 

"You never thought about it?" 

Hanzo turned to frown at him. "What?" 

"Y'know, playin' hookie and hitting the town with Genji someday." 

"Impossible." 

"But you don't think about it?" 

"What would be the point, other than to create resentment that he can, and I cannot?" 

Jesse shifted around a little to face Hanzo better. "Think about it step by step. First of all, what's stopping you? I know your old man isn't on your back twenty four hours a day." 

"I have a routine," Hanzo sighed. "Instructors, many instructors. Why do you think I come here in the middle of the night?" 

"So blow off the lessons for a day. What's the worst that could happen?" 

"My father would be told immediately." 

"Then ask him how come Genji can get away with it." 

"Genji can get away with it because _I_  do what is needed instead." 

Jesse thought that one over. "So you do it for Genji? Or for your father?" 

"What?" Hanzo asked, again, blinking. 

"Why do you choose to do it all? Cause you certainly don't do it for  _you_." 

"That's..." Hanzo rolled his eyes. "What does that have to do with sneaking off?" 

Jesse shrugged. "Just thought you oughta do something for yourself once in a while." 

"I do," Hanzo gave a short laugh. "At three in the morning, every day." 

"You sneak out to go look at  _nature_ , that's gotta be boring, doesn't count." 

"It got more exciting recently." 

That surprised Jesse. He looked over to find Hanzo staring at him, a hint of a smirk present, and he raised one eyebrow when Jesse didn't respond. He cleared his throat, trying not to grin. "More exciting than a night on the town, though?" 

"Theoretically, if I did what you are suggesting, would you join?" 

Jesse laughed. "That'd probably be a bad idea." 

"So is the rest." Hanzo gestured to them both and the area around them. 

"Yeah," Jesse agreed quietly, watching the sudden mischief in Hanzo's eyes that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with sneaking out to go party with Genji. "Yeah, it is." 

There was a really awkward, but really charged moment, during which Hanzo just looked at him and he looked back. It was too much but not enough at the same time, and he wanted to break it but didn't have the willpower. 

Hanzo did it for him, inhaling deeply and holding out his hand. "Give me your phone." 

"...Wha..?" 

"Your phone," Hanzo rolled his eyes, again, and continued to look too good for somebody supposedly annoyed. "I'm going to add my details, and you will add yours for me, so that if I cannot make it again, I can inform you." 

They were swapping numbers. Fuckin' phone numbers. Who does that anymore. Jesse reached into his pocket and drew out his phone with a hand that felt like jelly. Hanzo took a moment to bring up the dial screen on his own phone, before offering it. Jesse wanted a smoke. 

They typed away quietly and then swapped back. Hanzo had already saved himself as a contact, under the simple initials H.S. Hanzo's phone was all in Japanese, though, so Jesse let him save him under whatever name he wanted.  

"Do not contact me before nine pm," he ordered, locking his phone and stowing it away again. "I will be too busy to see it." 

"So I'm allowed to message you after that if I wanna?" 

Hanzo hit him with a deadpan stare. "Do not abuse it, if you send me anything ridiculous--" 

"Just checking, darlin'!" Jesse interrupted, laughing and holding his hands up in surrender. "You can send me whatever ridiculous shit you can think of if the mood strikes, 'cause I have a sense of humor." 

"What makes you think I would suffer your presence if I didn't?" 

"The fact that you say stuff like that, probably." 

"I thought you had a sense of humor." 

"….Got me." 

 

 

**You**    
21:43   
something ridiculous   
   
**H.S.**  
21:54   
.......Really. 

**You**  
21:56   
couldn't resist   
   
**H.S.**  
22:01   
I think I will stay inside tonight. 

**You**    
22:02   
: ( 

**H.S.**  
22:06   
I will come but not with food this time. Any complaints and I'll turn you in. 

**You**    
22:08   
wow. blackmail. 

**H.S.**  
22:10   
I come from a family that literally profits from crime. 

**You**  
22:11   
true, but I'm still feeling victimized 

**H.S.**    
22:14   
Keep complaining and I will give you a reason to feel victimized.  

**You**  
22:16   
that's coooold. see you later tho? 

**H.S**  
22:17   
Obviously. 

 

 

"I had a thought," Jesse voiced one night, popping a ramune soda fizzing candy in his mouth. Hanzo brought a small bottle with him after Jesse had spent some time the previous night describing some of his favorite American treats. "What the fuck is your sleeping schedule?" 

"I don't know," Hanzo shrugged, stealing back the bottle to take one himself. "What is yours?" 

"I'd probably be awake right now American time," he shot back, not too sure if that was true. "What's your excuse?" 

"Not wanting to waste my free time sleeping?" 

"Aw, you waste it with me, instead." 

"Shut up." 

Hanzo was getting more and more used to Jesse's teasing and flirting, which was kinda sad, but at least he wasn't just looking away each time, now. Jesse got to see a small smile play at the corner of his lips while he tried to suppress it, instead. He waited silently a few seconds, grinning and trying not to laugh, until Hanzo looked at him again. 

"What?" 

"Shhh, you told me to shut up." 

" _Idiot._ " Hanzo breathed out, shoving Jesse with his shoulder, and Jesse shoved him right back, shaking with a quiet laugh. "Why do I put up with you?" 

"Cause I'm handsome and funny?" 

"If you pose it as a question then you must not believe it." 

"Only need you to believe it, darlin'." 

Hanzo grinned a little, opting to stay quiet at that. He shook his head and looked out at the lake again. "When will your investigation be complete, do you think?" 

Jesse settled down at the change in subject. "...Probably soon, unless you were serious when you said there was stuff I should know about goin' on behind closed doors." 

"There are always things happening behind closed doors for everyone." 

"That's true, and from what I seen so far I figured it wasn't relevant to why I came." 

Hanzo shrugged. "Probably not. It is true that my father makes himself very visible to deter those curious from entering our home, but it is simply because he values his privacy and comfort. The group does not pretend to be anything that it isn't." 

"And what it is, is a well-oiled, strict machine with him at the controls." 

"Essentially."  

"Then probably I should be headed out soon." 

"Did you make a decision on what to tell Deadlock?" 

Jesse took a deep breath while he thought about it. "I'll just report that there's not a lot fishier than what we know happenin'." 

"And these meetings?" 

"Not relevant to the investigation." 

Hanzo gave a hum of thought. "Then you haven't been befriending me for information." 

That was a surprise. Jesse tried to get a read on where he was going with this, but Hanzo was just staring off into the distance again, pulling at a loose thread on his sleeve. Jesse could feel butterflies in his stomach. Honesty was hard. "At first.... maybe partially. But not anymore." 

"What changed your mind?" 

"I just..." Jesse searched for the words, wishing Hanzo would look at him. "It's weird but—I feel like we got to know each other on a different level, away from gangs and family and shit." 

"Sounds dangerous." 

"You ain't said you haven't been digging at me for info, either." 

"I... feel similarly to you." Hanzo sighed. "I didn't kill you because I thought perhaps I could learn something. And because it was interesting." 

"Good to know you enjoyed makin' me eat grass." 

Hanzo breathed out a quiet laugh. "Perhaps your looks and your charm will save you, in the end." 

Jesse wished Hanzo would look at him. There was so much being said but much more not being said at the same time, and it was driving him nuts. Part of him just wanted to grab Hanzo and shout out everything, the whole lot of it, but as Hanzo himself pointed out, this was dangerous. He felt a literal ache in his chest as he stared at Hanzo's profile. The closer he got to him the further away the Japanese man seemed. There was no coming out of this okay. "Saved me just to damn me," he whispered, sounding more raw than he'd meant to. 

Hanzo finally did look at him, and he searched Jesse's face for something so intently that Jesse thought he might melt into the ground beneath them. For once, he didn't throw on a stupid grin, he didn't break the silence with a stupid joke or observation, he just let Hanzo see. 

He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his stomach when Hanzo lifted his hand to the back of Jesse's head, and his eyes moved to Jesse's mouth as he yanked out the hair tie with sudden force. It was all the permission Jesse needed to close the rest of the distance, and Hanzo's hand in his loose hair felt like fire as he brought their lips together. 

It felt like it had been inevitable, once it happened, and something about Hanzo questioning the time Jesse had left here made it all that more urgent as Hanzo pressed forward to meet him, kissing hard. Hanzo's other hand moved to his hip, but it wasn't enough, and Jesse let himself be pushed down onto his back into the grass, holding on to Hanzo's biceps for dear life. 

It was probably high on the list of the most stupid things he'd ever done, but he just couldn't find it in himself to care, there and then. Hanzo was so warm over him, one knee on either side of his hips and pressing close as if to bring every part of them together. Jesse made a soft noise of encouragement, and Hanzo broke the kiss for a moment to take a breath before continuing it again with renewed enthusiasm.  

Jesse released his grip on Hanzo's arms, running his hands up and behind his neck to keep him close. Hanzo's ponytail fell over his shoulder and seemed to get in his way, because Hanzo stopped to flick it back over his shoulder. The pause seemed to bring calmness back, and they just stared at each other for a moment. Jesse took in Hanzo's features up close, rubbing small circles into the back of his neck as he tried to read his expression. 

"That was—really sudden," he whispered, and watched the smile grow on Hanzo's face. 

"Yes and no." 

"No?" 

"I had been hoping to do that." 

Jesse grinned. "I'd been hoping you'd wanna do that, but maybe just--" 

"--too fast," Hanzo agreed. He shifted, and Jesse released him as he rolled to the side. Jesse stretched out his right arm for Hanzo to rest his head on as he settled himself onto his back in the grass beside him. 

They just lay there silently at first, and Jesse tried not to think too hard about how close they were, still, but it was a situation that required thinking about. "It's probably a bad idea," he reasoned, but neither his heart nor his tone were in it. "I can't hang around, I don't even know when we'd see each other again." 

"But you would wish to?" 

"Huh?" 

"See me again?" 

Jesse turned his head to get a look at Hanzo's face, but it was hard from that angle. "...Yeah, yeah I would." 

"….I feel the same way." 

Well. That was a lot said in very little words, for both of them. "You're gonna make goin' home real difficult," he sighed.  

"I think it already will be." 

"...Yeah." 

 

 

Jesse went back to his hotel that night, chest bubbling with a weird mixture of elation and anxiety. There was no way he'd be able to sleep, but he lay down in bed all the same, mind reeling. They'd decided there'd been enough talk for one night, and they both had a lot to think about. Jesse wondered if Hanzo felt the same as he did about the kiss; it'd been the best idea ever until it happened and he realized just this would never be enough. He wondered if Hanzo was thinking through the same stuff as him right now. 

Sure, he wanted to see Hanzo again. Especially now. He already wanted to be headed back to the lake again to see him. But was it really worth it, getting into all of this? There was no denying that Jesse couldn't stick around, and he'd never dream of suggesting Hanzo come with him, that was just plain old romance movie dramatic. That shit didn't happen in real life. Hanzo had only known him a short time, there's no way he'd give up everything for whatever it was that was happening between them. 

Still, Hanzo seemed to be on the same train of thought as him that night. He admitted he'd want to see Jesse again too. There was just no way Jesse could think of to do that properly. 

Maybe tomorrow Hanzo would show up and say he changed his mind, none of it was worth it. 

Maybe Hanzo wouldn't show tomorrow night. 

He jumped out of his skin when his phone suddenly went off, almost reaching for his pistol before he realized what the noise was. The sudden light as he checked it had him blinking hard. 

**H.S.**    
05:07   
Can't sleep.   
   
**You**  
05:08   
me either 

**H.S.**    
05:10   
I assume you aren't boarding a plane or something, then. 

**You**    
05:11   
ha, no, I'm in bed at my hotel. 

**H.S.**    
05:13   
I tried to sleep. I'm thinking too much though. But also, not enough. 

**You**    
05:14   
not enough? 

**H.S.**    
05:16   
I keep thinking how tempting it would be to just run off to your hotel, not return in the morning, and see what would happen. Instead of thinking about whether or not this is all a terrible idea. 

**You**    
05:18   
don’t tease me with talk like that.  

**You**    
05:18   
but I don't wanna think about the rest yet either. 

**H.S.**    
05:20   
I know what I want to do. I just don't know what I should do. 

**You**  
05:21   
and what do you wanna do? 

**H.S.**    
05:23   
Find you, and finish what we started. 

**You**    
05:25   
god damn you 

Jesse stared at his phone for five minutes, and when he got no response, he let it drop beside his pillow and swore quietly, rubbing his hands across his face. It was all just too much. Nobody ever got him this bad before, and shit, but he was got bad. The distance felt like such a physical ache now after just a few texts, what was it going to be like when he went home?  

He imagined Hanzo at home doing the same thing he was doing right now. Was he as confused by it all? Or was he something else entirely, going by those texts. Jesse swallowed, his thoughts taking a different turn. Hanzo in bed alone, thinking about the kiss, thinking about  _finishing what they started_. How far was he thinking? Jesse glanced at his phone, thinking about asking him, but there was still no reply, and it was probably a bit too soon for that kinda talk over text. 

He wondered why Hanzo stopped replying, what he was doing now, after saying that shit. He groaned in frustration, knowing there was no ridding himself of this train of thought now. He imagined what Hanzo was thinking about. If they hadn't stopped, if Hanzo had stayed where he was on top of him. If Jesse'd pulled that shirt of his open, gotten his hands on skin. How would Hanzo respond to that? Ideally, well. He thought about freeing Hanzo from that shirt, of getting rid of his own, if Hanzo might've let him run his lips and his teeth down that strong neck of his, if Jesse maybe rolled his hips ever so slightly... 

He imagined Hanzo thinking of that as he sent that text, and he gave up on the pretense of sleep, kicking the covers off himself and sliding a hand under his boxers, shoving them out of the way until he had himself out and in hand. He lay his head back on the pillow heavily and closed his eyes, imagining Hanzo doing the same thing as he started to stroke himself. He wondered what kind of noises Hanzo would make, if he would make any noise, if he'd keep his eyes open or closed. He wondered what Hanzo liked as he rolled his thumb over his own tip, inhaling deeply.  

He imagined doing this to Hanzo. He wasn't one for long hand-jobs, though, he was all about being orally generous. He wondered how big Hanzo was, how heavy he would feel on his tongue if he started by licking him, base to tip. He imagined getting himself off just like this, but with Hanzo's dick in his mouth, imagined his lips stretching over him, slow and gentle at first, then with a bit more speed. He'd use his free hand to mimic those actions at the base, before eventually seeing how far he could take it, how much he could swallow. 

He imagined Hanzo, breathless above him, falling apart slowly, and imagined how much the noises would just  _get_  to him, and his hand sped up as he imagined Hanzo getting close. Hanzo seemed to like his hair, maybe he'd have his hands tangled in it, maybe he'd guide Jesse however he needed as he got closer and closer, imagined if he gave his hair a hard pull when it happened-- 

Jesse didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he released it in a hoarse groan as he came, belatedly hoping he hadn't made a mess of the sheets and wishing he'd thought about that first, but he was too far gone to care. He lay there catching his breath for a few minutes before he opened his eyes, the sight of the ceiling of his room being a real disappointment.  

He checked his phone. No reply.  

He gathered enough energy to reach for the black shirt he'd worn to the lake that night to clean himself up a bit, figuring he'd just throw it out in the morning. As an afterthought, he also pushed his boxers the rest of the way off and ditched them on the floor somewhere before pulling the blankets up over himself and curling up, hollow. 

When he woke up four hours later, he finally had a reply. 

**H.S.**    
08:37   
Wait for me outside your hotel tonight instead, at midnight if possible. Dress casual. (No spurs.) 

 

 


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED I AM SORRY. This chapter fought with me and I'm gonna warn you here that it ended at a point in the story that was sooner than I had planned to, but I feel that as part one of a series, it was a good ending. 
> 
> An "Interlude" oneshot will follow this fic, and another two chapter fic will finish the series. Thank you for reading and reacting to chapter one, I love you all!
> 
> EDIT: The hilarious typo was fixed...

Jesse moved through the lobby of his hotel, catching sight of his reflection in a mirrored wall panel and grimacing. He felt like an idiot — not because of how he looked, but because he was  _nervous_ about how he looked. He cleared his throat and moved on. He'd spent far too long obsessed over what casual dress was; in the end he assumed Hanzo just meant not in stealth gear again, and Hanzo probably couldn't care less what he showed up wearing otherwise. As long as it wasn't spurs. 

He settled his favorite jeans, a plain, dark red shirt tucked into the waist, with the boots he'd bought at Hanzo's suggestion, and his hair tied back again. He figured that was casual enough, but he wouldn't know until he got outside. He wasn't in the mood for mystery thanks to the nerves. He'd touched base back home earlier, too, and his return was expected soon. He knew he had to go, there was no doubt about it.  

The only question was how he was going to leave things here. 

Hanzo was waiting for him outside — not directly by the hotel, but at a bench in the street, and the only reason Jesse didn't immediately focus on him was the fact that he had someone with him. Genji Shimada filled the space beside him, gesturing around while speaking animatedly, Hanzo nodding along and smiling softly.  

Jesse considered turning back and texting Hanzo to ask what the hell he was thinking, but Hanzo spotted him before he could make good on it, and rose, gesturing him over. Genji seemed confused for a moment about the interruption, but stood too, looking around to see who Hanzo had waved to. Both his eyebrows rose when he spotted Jesse. He steeled himself and made his way toward the brothers. 

"Right on time," Hanzo commented when he was within earshot. 

Jesse wasn't really sure how to behave with Hanzo in front of Genji, so he kept a distance of a foot or two and shrugged. "Curiosity got me," he answered, looking pointedly at Genji. 

"You know Genji," Hanzo waved a hand and Genji grinned. "Genji, this is Jesse McCree." 

Genji held out a hand for him to shake, which was a first since he'd arrived in Hanamura. "The Deadlock scout!" Genji laughed, maybe too loudly. "I've heard so much about you today." 

"That's... good?" Jesse frowned but took the offered hand anyway, side-eyeing Hanzo. 

"I... filled Genji in on our little  _friendship_ ," Hanzo hesitated a little, confirming to Jesse that Hanzo hadn't made clear the direction that friendship was headed. "I thought perhaps he could show us around tonight." 

"The city is much better than that old lake Hanzo visits," Genji crossed his arms, looking smug. "I was so proud when he told me he'd been running off with a Deadlock scout, but much more so when he asked for my help." 

"Forgive me if I'm stuck for words a little." Jesse shook his head. "This is a weird situation." 

"Don't worry about it!" Genji stepped forward and threw an arm over Jesse's shoulders, steering him forward and down the street as Hanzo followed. "Welcome to Hanamura! I think my brother has been a terrible host so far, but tonight we will have fun. We will explore, and drink, and all sorts of other things we aren't supposed to do while Hanzo is in the mood."  

"To a certain limit, please," Hanzo didn't sound stern but he didn't sound excited either, and Jesse struggled to turn his head around Genji's arm to get a look at him. 

"It's gonna be that kinda night, huh?" Jesse sighed, and narrowed his eyes at the younger brother. "You're weirdly okay with it if you know who I am and what I came for." 

"Ahh, I don't worry so much about those things," Genji shrugged, stopping them for a moment as they waited to cross a busy road. "We are all really here for another's purpose, but for today we're going to forget about that and have some _fun._ " 

That was one way to look at it, he supposed. Jesse still couldn't relax though, not without knowing what had gotten into Hanzo. He didn't disapprove, it was nice to see Hanzo making decisions for his own benefit for once, but it must be hard for him. Jesse had known the first day of watching Genji that he didn't have half the worries he should, and he could understand that position. "Think we need to be more careful? Your guys seem used to it from you, but nobody's gonna notice Hanzo disappeared?" 

"Nobody will be looking for him  _because_  it is unusual for him." Genji seemed to want to shut down the worrying as quickly and as early as possible. "We have skills, McCree, both of us. I am telling you we were not followed, so you should believe me." 

"He is right," Hanzo finally spoke again, sounding amused. "We were very careful about leaving, and no one has done anything like sneak in to check if we are in our beds in a very long time." 

"Well," Jesse gave up. "Guess I can just blame you guys if this goes bad. Drinkin', did you say?" 

Genji laughed and patted Jesse's shoulder. " _That_  is more like it." 

 

 

Genji didn't seem to be a guy who understood how to slow down, Jesse discovered. Maybe it was because he knew the chance of getting Hanzo out for this kind of thing again was very slim, or because he was excited about doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Maybe both. He really was into the whole Deadlock thing, asking question after question while they walked that Jesse only answered in detail if there was no harm in it.  

He brought them to see more than Jesse could keep up with, at first. Genji showed off the night markets just before they started closing up, and the smell of food made Jesse too hungry for somebody who had eaten only an hour ago. He pointed out a few temples, complained about having to show them things at night when he also pointed out his favorite indoor market which was closed, and told more stories about the places they passed than anyone could be expected to remember. 

He only slowed down when they reached an arcade, and Genji halted them on the sidewalk outside.  

"This is where the fun really starts," he grinned. "Do you play games, McCree?" 

"You still come here?" Hanzo asked, tilting his head at the entrance, a thoughtful expression coming over him. 

Genji shrugged. "Of course." 

There seemed to be more hidden under that exchange that neither of them seemed in a hurry to get into, so Jesse changed the subject back. "Not often enough for what you're askin', probably." 

"True, so I will go easy on you!" Genji turned and started making his way inside, waving a hand for them to hurry. Once through the door, he went straight to a counter and started speaking to the man there, so Jesse hung back a little with Hanzo. 

"He seems pretty excited," Jesse started, finally getting a good look at Hanzo. He didn't look stressed or annoyed. Maybe it was the fact that he was wearing pants and a t-shirt that made him seem more relaxed than usual.  

"He is very happy that I asked him for something." Hanzo looked over at him, giving a small smile. "I'm sorry for the surprise. I thought perhaps I could show you Hanamura, and Genji seemed like the best way to do that." 

"You were okay with tellin' him I'm here? And how you didn't turn me in or anything?" 

Hanzo watched Genji again for a moment, then nodded. "I can trust him. And beside that, this is probably great in his eyes. He has been begging me to... loosen up, for years." 

Jesse scratched his head nervously as he built up to asking his next question. "Did you tell him about... last time?" 

"No, of course not," Hanzo answered quickly, then looked over at Jesse, raising a hand apologetically. "Not because I—it is something I wanted to keep to myself," he explained, and Jesse realized he thought he'd offended. "I wanted to speak to you about it first, too." 

Jesse swallowed. "Yeah?" 

Hanzo looked over to see Genji still occupied, then reached out a hand to take Jesse's arm, pulling him slightly closer. "I have done a lot of thinking," he said quietly, looking down at his hand. "And we do have more to discuss, don't you think?" 

Jesse wouldn't have been sure how to take that if it wasn't said with Hanzo stroking his arm, so he assumed it wasn't bad exactly. But Hanzo was right. He moved his arm to break Hanzo's hold, and instead took his hand, squeezing it for a moment. "Yeah, we do. I sure hope we do, anyway." 

Hanzo took a deep breath through his nose and squeezed back before releasing Jesse's hand, smiling. "Good. Genji is coming back, though." 

"Tokens!" 

Jesse followed the noise and saw Genji approaching again. He carried three small pouches in his hands, and threw one for Hanzo to catch. Jesse's he offered a bit more politely, holding it out for him. 

"If you want more you will have to buy them yourself," Genji explained as Jesse took his. "Although I think these should be enough. We don't want to stay here  _too_  long, there is still drinking to be done." 

"The tokens work for all the games," Hanzo explained. "The cost differs depending on the game, however." 

"Most are only one these days," Genji took over. "But some of the more popular ones cost two." 

"That's nice, but will I be able to  _read_  the games?" 

"You will be playing with us, silly American, you won't need to read them." 

Weirdly enough, Jesse decided he liked Genji. He was good fun, and while he moved through everything quickly and talked a lot, it was all in the spirit of that fun. He had a neverending well of energy, and Jesse could tell he wanted to make sure he did what Hanzo asked him to do, and more. He didn't seem to mind that he barely knew Jesse, and didn't treat Jesse like he didn't belong considering this was he and Hanzo's first time actually have fun together in a long, long time. It was hard to find something about him not to like. 

Genji was adamant that Jesse had to race him on some ancient motorbike game that relied on balance, convinced that Jesse was a biker for some reason. Whatever information Genji had on Deadlock was obviously not as accurate as Hanzo's, or he had only picked some bits that he liked from the intel and came up with his own idea. Jesse had to explain that yes, they're a gang, and yes, some have bikes, but that wasn't what a biker gang was. 

They moved on to a bar after that, and Jesse felt much better. He had a drink in his hand, he wasn't in an open space, he could see all the entrances from the booth he'd chosen, and even better, Hanzo was beside him. Genji was growing on him for sure, but Jesse really hoped he'd find something better to do suddenly. He wanted to continue the short conversation he'd had with Hanzo inside the arcade. 

There would be time for that later though, hopefully. He wasn't planning on leaving just yet. 

"I'm so disappointed you didn't try anything I suggested." Genji leaned back in his stool, shaking his head while glaring at Jesse's whiskey. 

"C'mon, I had enough new stuff today. Can't blame me for wanting somethin' familiar." 

"There will be plenty familiar when you go home, tonight was supposed to be about Hanamura." 

"And I really enjoyed that," Jesse laughed at how adamant Genji was. "But maybe I'll try some drinks some other time." 

"Boring." 

"I'll be back in a moment," Hanzo rose, looking around with his eyes narrowed. "Where is the restroom?" 

"Down that way," Genji gestured with a thumb over his shoulder, still huffing about the drink.  

Hanzo nodded and started edging his way through people. He seemed a lot less worried about being out with Genji than Jesse assumed he'd be. It was a pretty big deal, from what he could tell. It was one thing to sneak away for some quiet personal time every night, but another thing entirely to actually go and have fun, and with his brother, no less. Hanzo really seemed to care about Genji, though, so Jesse was glad. 

Speaking of his brother, though, Genji suddenly leaned forward with his elbows on the table, staring at Jesse intently. 

"So. I saw you two speaking at the arcade." He grinned, looking far too smug. "I gave you a few minutes because I'm nice like that." 

"What d'you mean?" Jesse asked innocently, sipping at his whiskey. 

"Don't play ignorant, I am good at seeing things, you know. As good as Hanzo. Maybe better." 

"Dunno what you're talkin' about." 

"It must be serious, if he asked me for tonight. Hanzo would never do this normally. But I assume you know that?" 

Jesse shrugged. "He seems pretty uptight, I guess." 

"Uptight is an understatement." Genji returned to his relaxed position. "But then you appeared, and here he is, playing arcade games and drinking in a bar." 

"You're sayin' it like he doesn't enjoy it himself." 

"Oh he does," Genji nodded. "Or he would, if he would actually risk having some fun. Which he doesn't. He wanted  _you_  to have fun." 

"I'm pretty sure it ain't all about me." 

"And I am pretty sure that it is. Hanzo wants you to see what you would miss, if you never returned." 

"If we get an agreement with your old man, maybe I will be back. What's the big deal?" 

Genji frowned. "You are being far too coy, Jesse McCree. The  _big deal_  is that my brother cares about you, and has risked things that he has sacrificed much to achieve, all for your company. I do not want him to regret it." 

Jesse looked up from his whiskey at Genji. He was a lot different now, with Hanzo not around. Less childish. He spoke like he'd just aged ten years. How much of this guy was a show he put on for his brother, and why? Did he know what Hanzo had been doing for him for years? Did he pretend it was helping, to make his brother feel better about it? He was right, though. He was good at seeing things. Jesse stared him down for a few seconds, and gave a huff of disapproval. 

"I ain't got the kinda power to know what's gonna happen in the future," he spoke in a low tone, matching Genji's seriousness. "But if this is one of those warning talks, message received." 

Genji gave a long exhale through his nose. "If you cannot try, then end it now. If you do not think you can be worth what he is risking, then you should leave tomorrow and tell your Deadlock that there is no deal." 

"You want me to admit that I'm invested in this? Cause I figured I was startin' to be pretty damn obvious." 

Genji grinned suddenly. "Good! Then we have an understanding." 

Jesse shook his head, confused by how quickly Genji could just switch on and off like that. "I hope so." 

"I do like you, you know. So I'm sorry to have to point things out that harshly, but if Hanzo will not look out for himself, then I can try to do it for him sometimes." 

"I feel like I'm startin' to get you a little." Jesse gave in, lifting his whiskey again.  

"I hope not."  

 

 

They called it a night after two more drinks. Jesse was reluctant to drink too much, and Hanzo brought the night to a swift end when Genji started threatening to tell some stories about him as a child. Jesse had no siblings so he couldn't identify, but he sure as hell found it funny. Maybe, which was a dangerous thought, one day he could ask Genji what he was gonna say. Maybe. If he came back someday. 

Genji abandoned them when they got outside, insisting that the night was still young and there were people he had to see and things he had to do. The mischief in his face told both Jesse and Hanzo that they didn't want to know, which was probably what Genji had intended. Jesse was starting to realize that every move Genji made was planned out well. 

Once Genji had sauntered off, hands in his pockets and grin on his face, Hanzo turned to Jesse, smirking. Jesse's heart felt like it wanted to evacuate his chest as he looked at him, lit by the city lights and the lanterns draped across the streets above them, slightly flushed from the alcohol. "Do you know what time it is?" 

"What?" 

Hanzo raised his eyebrows. "Do you know what time it is?" he repeated, slowly, obviously amused by Jesse's lapse in attention. 

Jesse pulled his phone out of his pocket, tilting his head as it lit up, then laughed. "Three. Huh. How about that?" 

"I feel like we have somewhere to be that would round the night off perfectly." 

"I like your thinkin'." 

 

 

The lake was a welcome familiarity after the rest of the night. It had been good for sure, but Jesse was glad to be somewhere quiet and alone with Hanzo, finally. What the hell was he turning into, that he actually wanted peace and quiet? He lay down on his back in the grass, shaking his head slowly to himself. 

Hanzo lay down with a thump beside him, letting out a deep exhale. "What's wrong?" 

"Huh?" 

"You looked displeased." 

"Oh," Jesse smiled. "Nah, I was just sorta laughin' at myself in my head." 

Hanzo turned to look at him, fondly irritated. "Laughing at yourself?" 

"Well. I had a lot of fun, but I'm glad to be here away from the noise and the people too. Which is pretty weird for me." 

"Perhaps you're getting old." 

"Maybe. Or I just found the right company and I ain't bothered with all the other people anymore." 

Hanzo stared at him for a minute, and Jesse could tell he was trying to hold back a smile before he closed his eyes and rested his head back down on the grass. "That sounds unrealistic." 

Jesse rolled over on his side so he could examine Hanzo properly, finally getting a good look tonight, and taking it all in while he could. He looked somewhat serene and relaxed, and Jesse took note of the small blemishes in his skin, the way his eyelashes twitched as his eyes moved under his closed lids. He reached out a hand and Hanzo blinked his eyes open as Jesse traced one of his eyebrows with his finger. 

"Did you wanna talk to me?" Jesse inquired quietly. 

"Yes. I had something to tell you." 

"Alright." 

Hanzo lifted an arm and wrapped his fingers around Jesse's wrist, moving his hand away from his face and lowering it to his chest, entwining their fingers and resting his other hand on top. "I'd like it if you didn't interrupt until I'm finished." 

Jesse nodded, grass rubbing against his ear as he did so, but he kept quiet, heart beating hard. 

"I was thinking a lot," Hanzo started, eyes almost closed again as he looked down at their hands, "about these last few weeks, about my feelings. I know I had told you that I feel the same way, but I would like to elaborate to... make sure we are on the same page, so to speak." He paused there, glancing over at Jesse to make sure he was still listening, before looking up to the clouds again. "I feel very attached to you. I can't explain it, but I simply feel attached. You are on my mind most of every day. I replay memories to myself of your Route 66 stories just to focus on your voice sometimes. It makes things easier. The knowledge that you are there to speak to, it makes so many things easier. You make me happy." 

It was taking everything Jesse had in him to keep quiet, understanding that he would know when Hanzo was finished, and he didn't think he was finished yet. He felt like his chest was full of white noise that would keep expanding until it forced its way out of his throat in words. Hanzo swallowed nervously. Jesse wanted to move closer to him, but managed to stay still as he searched for the rest of his words. 

"But you must return home, soon. I wouldn't dare to suggest you stay; while I feel like you know me better than most, and likewise, we really only met a few weeks ago. That isn't an option. Where would you stay? How would we explain it? Because my father would definitely disapprove. It's all so... complicated. I always thought I owed myself to the family, but I realize I owe some parts of me to myself, too. I'm very torn." 

"You don't have to —" 

"Shh, I'm not finished yet," Hanzo turned to look at him again, shaking his head as if to scold him, but the anger wasn't there. "I propose we... find a way to make it work, while staying true to our current loyalties. If you wish to, that is. I know it will be very difficult, and perhaps that is not something you want for yourself. I just—wanted to explain to you how I felt, and tell you that I am open to the idea of continuing this in whatever way is possible." 

Hanzo nodded to him then, so he was clearly finished, but now Jesse found that he had no words. His train of thought had stopped dead in it's tracks at that.  _Honesty_. Just be honest. 

"First of all, in case I hadn't made it clear already, I'm pretty damn attached to you too," he growled, almost angered at the idea that Hanzo thought Jesse might not want to put up with his situation. "And what we have here is a shit situation, that's for sure. I wanna stay here at this lake forever, but life's a bitch. I gotta go home, and yeah, you got a lot of responsibility here and Genji to look after on top of it. I wish it was different, but it ain't. I was gonna ask you if maybe we could—I dunno, but damn it, I wanna keep you any way I can." 

Hanzo raised his eyebrows and poked Jesse's hand with one of his fingers. "Keep me?" 

"Ah. You know what I mean, not in a weird way." 

"It is a suitable way to say it. I would like to  _keep you_ , too." 

"So what the hell are we gonna do?" 

Hanzo released Jesse to lean up over him on one of his elbows, and Jesse moved his hand back to Hanzo's face as he leaned down for a kiss, stroking his thumb across his cheekbone. He let his eyes drift closed, enjoying the moment before Hanzo drew back, playing with a loose strand of Jesse's hair.  

"You could suggest that Deadlock agree to a deal," Hanzo shrugged, but frowned off into the distance thoughtfully. "I was reluctant to the idea at first, of my father's reach extending that far at the moment, but we could both keep a close eye on that. It would be an excuse for you to come back, as I would never manage to secretly visit you. I assume you have personal free time, too." Hanzo grimaced. "I'm afraid you would have to do a lot of travelling." 

Jesse grinned. "I'll jump on that flight as many times as I gotta, don't worry." 

Hanzo breathed out a laugh. "You sound too excited about all that time spent on a plane." 

"I  _am_  excited. We could work this, you know," Jesse gestured as he spoke, and he was telling the truth, he was getting excited. "We can video talk, we can message each other, I can probably make it over here a few times a year if there's a deal on. Oh, and Genji definitely knows, he's too switched on for his own good, but from the sounds of it he'd help out, too." 

"Genji—what?" Hanzo sharpened suddenly. 

Jesse reached up to rest his hand on the back of Hanzo's neck, rubbing small, relaxing circles into the skin there with his fingers. "He gave me the sibling talk, y'know. 'Play nice or you'll deal with me', that kinda talk. But mostly he just said he cares about you and he thinks it's good." 

"Genji approves of disobedient behavior, what a surprise," Hanzo threw out sarcastically, but without as much energy. He'd settled down a little. 

"So? What d'you say?" Jesse tilted his head. "We gonna try this?" 

Hanzo sighed, but smiled down at him. "Yes. Let's try this." 

 

 

Jesse heard all about Genji's teasing the next day, Hanzo telling the story about how he'd confronted his brother about giving Jesse  _The Talk_. Genji seemed entirely unsurprised that Jesse had told on him from the way it sounded. Hanzo had decided to update Genji in the end, since he seemed to know enough already. 

"He was pleased, but he wanted to know if it was because of his tour," Hanzo rolled his eyes, head lying on Jesse's lap as Jesse leaned against the tree, playing with this hair. Jesse couldn't get enough of his hair. "Was it?" 

"Huh? You mean did I decide to give it a go cause of the night out?" 

"Essentially." 

"Nah, I was pretty head of heels for you already," Jesse laughed. "The tour was nice though, it was cute you wanted to show me the city." 

Hanzo smacked his leg. "Shut up." 

 

 

The next day they didn't even bother going to the lake; Hanzo sent Jesse three frustrated texts one after the other all of a sudden, and from what Jesse picked up from them, Hanzo had a shit day and Jesse should wait at the hotel. Hanzo hadn't specified a time or where in the building to wait though, so Jesse found himself sitting in the lobby playing some stupid basketball game on his phone that was supposed to improve hand-eye coordination for two hours until Hanzo appeared shortly after midnight.  

"Hey," Jesse couldn't hold back the smile when he saw him, tucking his phone away and rising out of his chair. Hanzo was wearing casual clothes again, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his open jacket. "What's goin' on, you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"Can we go up?" Hanzo indicated toward the rooms with his eyes. "And order food? It can even be from one of those western restaurants for tourists with cowardly tastes, if you wish." 

Jesse's stomach flipped at the thought of Hanzo just chilling out in his hotel room, and he knew Hanzo saw it happen, responding with the raise of an eyebrow. "Do you like pizza? If you had a bad day, you should eat some pizza." 

Hanzo smiled. "I like pizza." 

Hanzo didn't focus on any one thing in his room when Jesse let him in, spotting first his boots with the spurs sitting at the foot of his bed and breathing out a laugh. Jesse lifted his jacket out of the one customary hotel armchair and cleared some space from the desk while Hanzo ordered their food, and when Hanzo decided to poke around at his stuff afterwards instead of taking the now empty seat, Jesse threw himself into it instead, watching. 

"You lookin' for something, or just lookin'?" 

"Just looking. How did you get your weapons through security?" 

"I didn't, they ain't mine. They were waiting here for me when I got here. Left my stuff back at home." 

"Clever." 

"C'mere." 

Hanzo looked over his shoulder at Jesse in the chair with his arms held out, and snorted, putting down the box of cigars he'd been reading and making his way over. "You hardly want me to sit on your  _lap_." 

"Sounds like you had a bad day, I was gonna start makin' it better." Jesse winked. 

Hanzo laughed again, choosing to stand between Jesse's legs. He let Jesse rest his hands on his hips and let himself be pulled a little closer, then took Jesse's chin between his thumb and finger and tilted his head up. "I just called for food, you have terrible timing, don't you think?" 

Jesse gave an exaggerated pout, not sure what was too soon or how far he could take the innuendos, but Hanzo didn't seem offended as he bent to take Jesse's lips with his own. Jesse slid his thumbs across Hanzo's hip bones under his pants as Hanzo snaked a hand around behind his neck, before suddenly tugging on the hair their to force Jesse's head up further. It hurt, but before Jesse could object, he made the decision that he liked it. 

Hanzo rested a knee on the free space on the armchair between Jesse's legs, leaning in until he was being supported by only that and his weight on Jesse's shoulders. It meant Jesse had to look up even more to keep the kiss going, but who was he kidding, he was desperate for it, so he did. Just as he got brave enough to move his hands further down, sliding around Hanzo's upper thigh toward his ass, Hanzo broke the kiss and pushed himself back up into a standing position while Jesse sat their shocked, hands suddenly empty. 

"Should have thought of  _that_  before suggesting pizza," Hanzo scolded, but with a teasing smirk plain as day on his face.  

Jesse bit his lip and shook his head. "Ohhh, I am gonna  _get_  you for that."  

When the pizza arrived, most of Hanzo's complaints about his day seemed to be in relation to the Shimada elders; a group of family, both close and distant, who worked as a sort of board of management but without final say... only they seemed to have a lot of say. Power in numbers, maybe? Hanzo was most offended at the suggestion that his appearance wasn't up to standard. Apparently a haircut was in order. Hanzo  _really_  did not want to cut his hair, though. 

They'd moved to the bed to eat the pizza, sitting cross legged next to each other while Hanzo alternated between eating his and waving it around in angry gestures as he got the day out of his system. The bed was covered in crumbs when they finished thank's to Hanzo's weird habit of dusting the crumbs from his fingers between each slice. It was cute, Jesse noted. 

Jesse gently lay himself down on his back, exhaling deeply when he was finished. "I ate too much..." 

"This is why you should not have suggested pizza. You are fit for nothing now." 

Jesse went embarrassingly red faced at that. He hadn't expected Hanzo to be so direct about things. "Hey, you didn't object, though." 

"Then we can both be at fault," Hanzo conceded, stretching out beside him with his hands on his stomach. "That was a terrible idea. I will be training first thing in the morning." 

"Yeah, lucky me, though, I can just sleep off the extra food." 

"That is... not how that works, but have fun." Hanzo elbowed him. "Have you dropped all pretense of your investigation?" 

"Pretty much. I mean, I know what I'm gonna say when I go back, so." 

"Will your Deadlock be impatient?" 

"Honestly? They're probably already kinda impatient, but I'll just give it 'till they call me up and holler at me before I get movin'." 

"It's a shame. The black clothes suited you." 

"Still wear my hair back, though." Hanzo gave him an inquiring look, and Jesse elbowed him back. "Don't gimme that face, I noticed you noticin'." 

"It's more  _practical_  when your hair is long, if the wind catches--" 

"You  _could_  just admit I look good." 

"— And, I suppose, you look....  _better_." 

"Well, you're not too bad, yourself." 

They stayed like that for a while, lying on the bed poking fun at each other and talking, and Jesse thought he'd never been happier in his life. He wished he'd never have to leave, and even if dropping Deadlock was an option he'd be willing to consider this early on, what would he do? Live out of hotels and sneak around with Hanzo every night? He'd run out of money pretty quick at that. He let the thoughts come and go as he lay there listening to Hanzo, and he didn't notice when he dozed off, or when Hanzo brushed some hair away from his face and kissed his forehead before going home. 

 

 

Hanzo showed up at the hotel early the next day too, and Jesse continued to feel like a nervous teenager watching Hanzo getting comfortable in his room as he started on about how the day had been. It was a strange situation; usually, if he cared for somebody even slightly, he wasn't nervous about sex or thinking about it so much so early, but this was different. They were running on limited time. He'd have to go home soon, and who knew when they'd see each other again? While he felt more relaxed around Hanzo than anyone else, there was always that little bit of pressure to do as much as he could while he was here. 

"Genji says hello, by the way," Hanzo muttered, playing with his hair where he had it pulled over his shoulder. "He was disappointed to hear you are no longer stalking him and wondered if you would consider trying some of those drinks he mentioned." 

"I doubt he'll be offended if I say no," Jesse chuckled, watching Hanzo draped across the bed from his position in the armchair. He'd been cleaning the pistol he'd been given when Hanzo messaged him to say he was outside, and he had pretty much lost interest in the thing now. "Besides, I'd much rather spend my free time with you, anyway." 

"Isn't all your time free time, currently?" 

Jesse held up some parts of disassembled gun. "I still do  _some_  work." 

"Did you even use that thing here?" 

"Nah, but I got bored and it's polite." 

"It always helps to be polite to your gun dealers." 

"Well, considerin' you might be one of our gun dealers soon, I agree." 

"I'm not sure I require everyone at Deadlock to be as... polite as you have been with me." 

"You'd better not," Jesse waved the pipe cleaner at Hanzo. "I'll get jealous real quick." 

Hanzo grinned and sat up, obviously preparing to say something he thought was going to be really funny, but at that moment Jesse's phone rang. Considering Hanzo was sitting right in front of him and the only friends Jesse had back home were other Deadlocks, they both knew who it was.  

Jesse swallowed nervously, not looking at Hanzo as he dropped the pipe cleaner and lifted his phone, glancing at the screen for a moment to confirm what he already knew. 

"Hey, what's up?" He stood from the armchair, wiping his free hand on his jeans as he paced nervously, aware of Hanzo's eyes on him the entire time. 

"It's Rick," the voice came, and Jesse swore mentally. Rick was lined up to be the official rep if the deal was happening. "Where you been? You were supposed to call in yesterday." 

"Was I? Shit, I guess I forgot." 

"Last I heard your next call was gonna be the last, you made your mind up or what? You been out there weeks." 

"It's called doin' a good job," Jesse was probably expected to sound offended at any suggestions that he was taking too long, so he played it that way. "You ain't seen these guys, they're serious. Had to make sure I didn't miss anything." 

"Well? You ready to finish up? I'm dyin' to get going here, Jesse." 

"Yeah, yeah, I get ya. It's lookin' good from my end so you can start talkin' if you want." 

"I wanna hear what you got before I reach out, wanna make sure I got all my info together." 

"You're waitin' for me to get back before you start?" 

"Yeah? Of course, man. Just didn't expect to be waitin' weeks for ya, you like the food over there or somethin'?" 

"Yeah, all I been doin' since I got here was fillin' my stomach and chattin' up the locals." 

"Don't get mad, I'm just kiddin'. When you comin' back?" 

Jesse sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. "Gimme tomorrow to get finished up and I'll fly out the next day. Hold your horses 'till then if you wanna." 

"...Alright, I guess that'll have to do." Rick didn't sound exactly pleased, but he knew Jesse, and he knew he'd have to suck it up. "See you soon, man. You need to be picked up? Lemme know when you hit home." 

"Yeah, yeah, I'll give ya a call. See ya later, Rick." 

Jesse hung up before the conversation could continue. He locked the phone and stared at it murderously for a moment before pocketing it, finally looking over at Hanzo. He was sitting up with his legs crossed now, head down, watching as he played with a thread on his sleeve. He looked about the same as Jesse felt. 

Jesse walked over and sat on the bed beside him, staring at Hanzo's hands too. "Didn't think they'd call that fast." 

"Tomorrow is your last night, then." 

Jesse sighed. "Gotta fly out the next day." 

Hanzo nodded, frowning. "I knew you would have to, soon. I just — don't want you to." 

"I don't wanna either, but we'll be okay, yeah?" Jesse shifted closer, and Hanzo looked up at him. "We talked about this, we got a plan. I'll be back, and you can bet I'm gonna bug you every day 'till that happens." 

"If I don't bug you first." Hanzo gave a hint of a smile. 

"It'll be okay, it'll be good. I'll call you and tell you 'bout all the stupid stuff happening at home, you can complain about those old guys and whatever Genji's getting up to. I'll send you stupid good mornin' and goodnight texts. Dumb selfies." 

"I will video call you from the lake to remind you of when you thought it was a good idea to climb a tree and hide in it." 

"Hey, it could've worked." 

"If it wasn't  _me_  you were following, perhaps." 

"But it was," Jesse grinned. "And I'm really glad you threw knives at me, look at us now." 

Hanzo huffed out a small laugh and rested his head on Jesse's shoulder. "Yes, look at us now." 

 

 

They agreed the last night should be spent out at the lake again, and Jesse was glad. The quiet bit of countryside had become one of his favorite places on earth, and he did want to see it again one more time before he had to go. They'd arranged to meet early because Jesse was flying out late in the morning, but had to leave for the airport a little earlier, and Hanzo did need to sleep no matter how much he insisted they both just stay out all night. 

Jesse had spent the day packing up his few belongings, only leaving out anything that he still needed for the meantime. He'd found a box of good cigars in the bottom of his bag that he'd forgotten about. He wasn't a heavy smoker, he mostly just liked the taste of the good ones, so he tucked that into his shirt to bring with him and see what Hanzo through of them. 

Hanzo was waiting for him already with another box of mitirashi dango, and he smiled wide when he saw Jesse, shaking his head. Just for fun, Jesse decided to wear the stake out gear again, gloves and all.  

"Is that food for me?" 

"Are those clothes for me?" 

Jesse laughed as he drew close, leaning in for a kiss and heart fluttering at how Hanzo rested his hand on his shoulder as their lips met. "Maybe." 

"How thoughtful." Hanzo settled himself into their spot against the tree, and Jesse joined him quickly, sitting close so their legs were resting against each other.  

"I'm nice like that." 

"As am I," Hanzo said pointedly, opening the box and passing is straight over to Jesse. 

They ate slowly, catching each other up on their day, with Hanzo doing a lot of poking fun at Jesse for his choice of clothes. Everything was very bittersweet for Jesse, remembering other nights spent out at the lake. Hanzo pinning him into the grass, the last time Hanzo brought him food, exchanging phone numbers. The kiss. He was happy, but at the same time, there was a deep sadness in the pit of his stomach at having to leave, especially when surrounded by memories like the food. Jesse tried not to make a mess with the soy sauce this time, and he thought he'd succeeded until Hanzo pointed some out on his face.  

"Oh, oops," he gave himself a wipe with the back of his hand. "Very sexy." 

"If you were more clean shaven, that wouldn't happen." 

"Nah I'd probably make a mess anyway... And are you sayin' you don't like the face?" Jesse rubbed at his stubble, exaggerating an offended tone. 

Hanzo studied him closely, as if pretending to think about it before answering. "It can stay, I suppose." 

"Maybe I'll grow a proper beard, huh?" 

"I don't know about  _that_." 

"Maybe you should, too." 

"I don't think so." 

"Might look good." 

"I don't look good already?" 

Jesse smiled wide, not even pretending he wasn't outright admiring Hanzo. "Darlin', you're beautiful." 

Hanzo bit his lower lip as if trying to suppress a smile, and damn if it wasn't attractive. Jesse was glad when Hanzo leaned in; he put the box of dango down in the grass somewhere to his right to free up his arms as they kissed, holding Hanzo's face in his hands. He'd never get enough of kissing Hanzo, the way he liked to start soft, then press closer, open-mouthed when he wanted to take it deeper. It was going to be really goddamn hard being away from him.  

Hanzo lifted a hand to pull at Jesse's shirt, urging him closer, and Jesse was happy to oblige. He released Hanzo's face when he starting to move backwards down into the grass, pulling Jesse along with him. Jesse wasn't really sure where to put himself at first, wondering if he should lie down beside him, but then he remembered that Hanzo had literally sat on him twice already and he was leaving in the morning. He flattened his hands either side of Hanzo's head as he straddled his hips, pausing to look down at him for a moment. Beautiful seemed like an understatement when he was laid flat like that with his hair still hanging over one shoulder, a smile playing on his face, eyes dark. 

Jesse bent down to kiss him again, happy to spend the rest of their time like this, making more memories to take him with him. One of Hanzo's hands moved to tangle his fingers in his hair, giving him goosebumps. His other hand ran down Jesse's spine, and Jesse shivered.  

"I'm gonna miss this," he mumbled against Hanzo's lips. 

"Would you like more to miss?" 

"Huh?" 

Hanzo rolled his eyes, gripping Jesse's hair a little tighter and raising his hips slightly to move against Jesse's.  _Oh_. 

Jesse took a shuddering breath. "I don't have anything with me for — for that." 

"I don't care, I just need to —  _something_." 

Jesse had a sudden and almost violent flashback to the night of their first kiss, when Hanzo had sent him those messages, and his imaginary scenario that followed. His body felt like it suddenly woke up at the prospect of bringing that to reality, and that would be a pretty satisfying memory to bring home. He smirked, and saw Hanzo's eyes grow darker the second he realized Jesse was on board. "I think I can come up with an alternative idea or two, darlin'." 

Hanzo tugged on his hair again in that hard way Jesse never knew he liked and pulled him down again for an aggressive kiss, picking up the pace in a way Jesse was not expecting, but he wasn't going to complain. He let himself rest almost completely against Hanzo's body now, loving the feeling of Hanzo's chest moving under his.  

It wasn't going to be enough for long though, and Jesse broke away and sat up, reaching down to untie Hanzo's belt. Realizing he was going to have a little trouble, Hanzo pushed his hands away and quickly undid it himself, lying back and allowing Jesse to push the gi he wore open. He tilted his head back and sighed as Jesse got his mouth on him as quickly as possible. Jesse absent-mindedly noted that Hanzo had a tattoo on one side of his chest as he focused on his nipple, although some of the lines at the edges seemed like it wasn't finished yet.  

Taking his cues from Hanzo's reactions, Jesse moved lower, determined to get Hanzo to make some sort of noise soon, not content with the deep exhales he was getting so far. He slid his index fingers under Hanzo's pants at his hip bones, looking up as Hanzo twitched. "Alright?" 

Hanzo lifted his head to look down and nod, and just seeing him all flushed and breathing hard made Jesse more uncomfortable in his jeans. He was  _exquisite_. "Did you just want to look, or were you going to continue?" Hanzo asked, but it probably didn't come out as stable as he'd wanted it to.  

"Impatient." Jesse shook his head but couldn't help grinning wide as Hanzo let his head drop again when Jesse started to push the offending fabric out of the way all in one go. He considered some build up or teasing or something, but he felt more desperate than Hanzo sounded, so he took Hanzo in hand right away, stroking up and down in slow motions at first. He felt one of Hanzo's legs hook around his thigh as he kneeled there above him, and that was enough to spur him on. 

He remembered the night in his hotel room after Hanzo had messaged him, and started with a long lick from base to tip, dipping his head almost as soon as he was finished to take Hanzo in his mouth. Hanzo's hips twitched, and Jesse used his free hand to press down on his waist to hold him more still. Hanzo retaliated by weaving his fingers into Jesse's hair again, and Jesse praised whatever deity was up there helping his dreams come true. 

He continued his lazy actions with his mouth for a few more moments, swirling his tongue around the tip of Hanzo's dick before resuming his hand movements, stroking up and down at the base, and Hanzo finally breathed out a quiet noise. Jesse took him a little deeper, hoping to hear some more. He was rewarded after a moment when Hanzo grabbed his hair in a fist at his scalp and he let out a muffled groan, and he figured that must have done something for Hanzo too when he actually moaned. 

Determined to keep pleasing, Jesse went even deeper, taking in every noise and every shiver from Hanzo and loving it. He let go of Hanzo's hip, letting him move as he pleased and working with the small thrusts Hanzo couldn't seem to hold back, preferring to free his hand to reach more skin, stroking the sides of Hanzo's thighs and moving up to his lower stomach.  

Hanzo suddenly pushed himself up to his elbows. "Stop, stop," he breathed out. Jesse lifted himself up in a panic, ready to ask several different questions and blurt out a few apologies maybe, but Hanzo beckoned. "Come here." 

When Jesse moved closer again, Hanzo pulled him back into his previous position, luring him in with an intense kiss before he started at Jesse's belt buckle frantically. Jesse couldn't help from here, holding himself up above Hanzo, so he just focused on breathing helplessly as Hanzo finally freed him from his boxers, breaking the kiss to look down between them. Jesse's arms felt weak, looking at Hanzo watching his own actions as he gave him a few long, draw out strokes before lining him up and taking them both in hand. 

When Jesse got the idea, he clumsily reached down to offer some extra purchase as Hanzo dropped his head again, a long noise dragging itself out of him as he thrust up into their hands.  

"Jesus Christ," Jesse breathed, resting his head in Hanzo's neck. He didn't even need to move, he just maintained a loose grip as Hanzo offered all the friction he needed for now. On impulse, he latched on to Hanzo's neck, sucking and biting the skin there and allowing himself to feel triumphant when Hanzo's full body gave an erratic twitch. 

" _Yes_ , keep doing that," he let out in one breath, and Jesse sort of wished he could see his face but was more interested in carrying out his demand. 

"Only if you keep pulling my hair," Jesse mumbled, smiling against his neck, interrupting himself with a loud and embarrassing noise as Hanzo reached up and gave his hair a hard tug. He was really glad he'd learned that about himself. 

They were never going to last long like that, and Jesse wondered if it was because Hanzo had also been thinking about it for a few days, if he also felt the pressure of Jesse's limited time here. He would be back; they were going to finish this properly. He couldn't help the erratic movement of his hips as he could feel the climax building up, but Hanzo was already there, letting out three hiccupping breaths, then a long, loud sigh, and a whisper of Jesse's name.  

 _You're such a_ _cliché_ , he thought to himself as the sound of his name did it, and he lay his forehead on Hanzo's shoulder, grinding out his last few seconds into their hands before following Hanzo with a unintelligible noise. He shifted to the left a bit before he let himself collapse, avoiding crushing Hanzo entirely.  

He lay there, hiding his face as he caught his breath, one arm under him and the other across Hanzo's chest.  _Commit this to memory_ _,_ he told himself, staring at Hanzo's tattoo rising and falling as he breathed. 

 

 

The goodbye was quiet when Jesse eventually had to leave. They stood at the edge of the lake, and Jesse pulled Hanzo into his arms and rested his face in his shoulder, silent as Hanzo wound his arms around Jesse's waist. They had to part here, since Jesse wasn't about to go escorting Hanzo back to the estate, and they'd agreed that it was better for Jesse to pack up his final bits and depart the hotel as unnoticed as possible. So this was it. 

When too much time passed, Jesse lifted his head, watching Hanzo's face closely. 

"Better keep an eye on your phone, yeah?" 

"You had better keep in touch," Hanzo responded, raising an eyebrow. "Do not expect me to chase you down every day." 

"Like you wouldn't miss me if you didn't hear from me," Jesse teased, confident that it was true but still anxious to see it confirmed.  

Hanzo shoved him with a knee. "Shut up." 

"I'll be back in no time, wait and see." 

"Perhaps someday I will wake to you raiding my pantry as you promised?" 

Jesse laughed. "Gotta follow through on my promises, I guess." 

"Then promise to call," Hanzo rested his forehead against Jesse's. "And promise to come back." 

Jesse figured that went without saying, but he'd say it if he had to. "Promise." 

 

 

Jesse wondered how his limbs managed to obey him when he returned to the hotel alone, gathering his belongings and setting off, when every part of him wanted to stay. It was as if a gravitational pull had suddenly awoken in his chest, trying to lure him back with every step, every meter as he reached the airport. He hoped he could sleep on the plane. He remembered his promise has he took off a few hours after leaving, made sure it was still early enough, and pulled out his phone. 

 **You**    
06:25   
plane taking off. talk as soon as I get home. I miss you.  

 

 

Home was so boring. 

Jesse had slept off the first day pretty much, thankful that he was tired enough and hoping to reset his body clock as soon as possible. First thing he did was set an alarm on his phone for noon every day to alert him to Hanzo waking up and heading out to the lake, but the first day he made sure to warn Hanzo that he'd be taking care of jet lag a lot.  

Rick was on his case almost immediately, so he took care of that before making sure everybody knew he was gonna be dead to the world. He'd carefully prepared on the plan over exactly what he was going to say; included all the accurate details about Shimada, Genji, the estate, the staff, the bodyguards, and included a few bits and pieces about Hanzo. He described Hanzo as being difficult to get eyes on due to his strict daily routine, and mentioned that every now and again he headed out at night to meditate in shrines and at parks, but left out the lake.  

"They're basically what you see is what you get right now," Jesse finished, playing with an unlit cigar. "I didn't get hints of nothin' we wanna avoid hiding in the shadows." 

Rick had met him in one of the local bars they used for casual meetings, down the road from their main base. The place was empty at the time, but this area was all Deadlock land, so it was generally safe enough to talk.  

"Sounds like they like their formalities, yeah?" Rick scratched at his chin. 

"Oh yeah, for sure, gotta be real polite. But I think this deal will be real good for us." 

Rick nodded, obviously hearing what he wanted to hear. Making and breaking deals was Rick's thing, and he was good at it. He was Deadlock's number one smooth talker. He was too excited about getting started to pick up on any signals that Jesse had ulterior motives, and Jesse was probably too tired to give off signals anyway. Sleep first. More talk about the deal later. Jesse knew Hanzo would hear about it as soon as Deadlock reached out, anyway, so he'd know Jesse did his job. 

It was all underway by the time Jesse resurfaced feeling like a normal human being again. The warehouse was full of talk about it and what kind of assets the Shimada group were offering. It was one of the biggest deals Deadlock had ever considered, so everyone wanted to throw themselves in. Jesse took a walk with a cigar and his phone, finding a nice spot in the shade behind Big Earl's, sheltered from the heat of the afternoon sun as he called Hanzo.  

"It's about time," Hanzo picked up quickly, sounding amused. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd changed your mind." 

"Never, darlin'," Jesse grinned wide, his entire body relaxing at finally hearing Hanzo again. "I'd miss your voice too much." 

"Only my voice?" 

"Obviously not. I'm just real glad to hear ya again." 

Hanzo paused, probably doing that thing where he'd look down at his hands and try not to smile every time Jesse said something nice. "Where are you?" 

"Just hangin' around at base, outside," Jesse took a drag from his cigar, letting it sit for a moment before exhaling and continuing. "No new missions for me for a bit, told 'em I was tired." 

"Your body clock  _is_  probably severely out of focus." 

"Sure as hell is," Jesse agreed. "I am tired too, though, in my head. Feel better now I'm talkin' to you, though." 

"I think I know how you feel." 

"This is gonna be harder than I thought, y'know." 

"Not having second thoughts, are you?" 

"Hundred percent not having second thoughts. Just... miss you a lot, y'know?" 

He heard Hanzo breathe slowly. "I know. I agree. I believe the hard times will be worth the good times, however." 

"Can't argue there. Speakin' of good times, you guys got the contact, yeah?" 

"Are you not keeping up over there?" 

"Just wonderin' how it's going on that end." 

"It is being received well," Jesse heard Hanzo shift, probably sitting down in the grass. "My father is eager to get things moving. He is considering a journey himself, but if he does go, I will not be permitted to go with him. We rarely travel together." 

"Yeah, I noticed that. Makes sense I guess. He wants to trade info too, I heard?" 

"Yes. It's important to him to understand the land, so to speak. Especially if your Deadlock has rivals. It would be a threat to what he is trying to establish there and he would assist in cleaning that up, for a price, of course." 

Jesse whistled. "Now  _that_  would be somethin'." 

"Just try to keep Deadlock out of any trouble that would draw unwanted attention during negotiations, or the deal will certainly not be struck." 

"Probably a good idea for me to stay off missions for a while, then," Jesse admitted ruefully. "I like to make a bit o' noise." 

"You will just have to spend all your sudden free time talking to me." 

"I  _suppose_  that'd keep me entertained, yeah." 

 

 

It took two months for the deal to be finalized, and in that time, Jesse began a routine. It mostly revolved around Hanzo's available hours, but it was the first time in years he had an actual daily routine. In the mornings, he helped out with the general laboring in the warehouse. It was something he'd managed to avoid mostly up until now, but found he didn't mind it these days. It was a lot of heavy lifting so it was a good work-out, but as for keeping track of their stock and weaponry, he left that to others.  

At noon, he went in search of food, and usually spoke to Hanzo for a few hours after that while having a few smokes. Hanzo enjoyed the video calls as Jesse tried to show him as much of his home as he could without being obvious about walking around with his phone out. The scenery appealed to Hanzo the most, all the cliffs and high areas where you could see for miles, the deep ravines on the edge of the gorge. He complimented Jesse on continuing to tie up his hair as he let it grow out some more. Screw the haircut.  

He also got a few texts from Genji, and he assumed Hanzo passed his number on, but never asked about it since Genji only ever sent him pictures of drinks that were apparently better than whiskey. 

Their first shipment of arms came in a few weeks after that, with a two man escort from the Shimada group. Jesse kept out of their way, only really offering them a nod when he passed them in base. He was told they'd be staying for a few weeks for talks and to investigate the other gang lands. Hanzo confirmed it, stating that as far as he knew, they weren't there for ulterior motives and knew nothing about Jesse's stay a few months ago.  

Jesse was honestly just waiting for the hype to die down a bit so he could take a holiday to Hanamura without anyone finding his break odd enough to look into where he was going. If it seemed like he was heading to Shimada's city independently of his gang, he'd definitely kick up too much dust. 

"There is mostly interest in extending Deadlock's control, if they are live up to their use," Hanzo mused one day. "The rival gangs are small, but some have outposts that could be beneficial to us both." 

"We been eyein' up some of the hypertrain lines," Jesse agreed. "Some we can't get cargo on without runnin' into trouble, but we're nearly in a position to take care of that." 

"Do you have agreements with any of the gangs that control the useful transport areas?" 

"Nothing set in stone. We stay outta their way and they stay out of ours." 

"My father will almost certainly look to get them out of the way permanently." 

"There'd be no complaints from this side about that. We got the equipment now, maybe a few more bodies and it'd get done." 

"Mm," Hanzo hummed. "I can see that being the next step. If Deadlock control points in and out of the United States, then your relationship with our group will be even more beneficial for both." 

It sounded fun to Jesse. He had more of an excuse now to keep his head down, with the two guys from Hanamura on base and the fact that nobody wanted them to know which of them would've checked them out, but he was getting restless.  

He kept his nose clean for another few weeks. He sent Hanzo a letter and some bath oils made with mayapple, moss, and white cedar, all local; he figured he'd like that kinda thing. He added some fudges made with some good old Jack Daniels for Genji, just for the laugh. Hanzo sent him a leather bound notebook that he'd signed the inside of, and Jesse was pretty sure he'd never want to ruin it by actually using it. He ended up just keeping it on his person all the time and taking it out to look at every now and again. 

"Think I'll get a visit soon?" He asked one day, and Hanzo yawned on the other end of the phone. It was getting late for him. 

"If you aren't going to be joining the raids against the other gangs, then would be a good time. But it sounds like it would seem strange if you weren't a member of that party." 

Jesse sighed. "Yeah, definitely. Maybe it'll quiet down after that, when business gets goin' good and proper and routine sets in." 

"That would be the best time, then." Hanzo didn't sound too happy about how long that was going to take, either. 

"...Miss you. A lot." 

"I miss you too." 

 

 

Jesse joined the raid party when the time came, and he was glad he did. It had been too long since he saw some action, and he didn't realize how much he needed it until he was back at base after the first one, tired out with a drink in his hand, covered in sand and sweat. He was surprised that Rick didn't join them, but the few extra men the Shimada group had sent made up their numbers, and those guys could fight. It was incredible watching them, and Jesse had to wonder how much of the same, if not more, Hanzo was capable of.  

The whole thing had gone better than Jesse had expected, with no fatalities and only a few injuries on their side, but that's what new friends does for you. He stepped out of the celebrations for a few moments, shivering a little in the low temperatures of the night as he sent Hanzo a text. He'd been worried despite all of Jesse's assurances that he'd be fine, and made him promise to drop him a message when it was all done. He was surprised to get a message back immediately considering it was out of Hanzo's usual contactable hours. He grinned. Hanzo must have been keeping an eye on his phone. 

During the next raid Jesse caught a ricochet bullet to his shoulder. It was really just a deep graze, but Hanzo gave him an earful about being more careful anyway. 

Autumn arrived and the raids were coming to an end. Deadlock had taken a lot of important routes, and they'd grown in size too as a few members of the old gangs decided along the way to join the one that was winning. Jesse hardly saw them as loyal people as their priority was definitely just to get paid, but at least you could rely on those kind of people to do what you're paying them to do. 

 

 

"What about the second week of September?" 

Hanzo hummed over the phone. "Sounds good to me. Are you certain things are calm enough?" 

"This shit's basically routine now on this end, I ain't worried. Me goin' wandering isn't exactly big news either, so yeah, I think it's calm enough for nobody to think too hard about me takin' two weeks." 

"Good," Hanzo sounded pleased. "Is it becoming expensive to book with simply three weeks notice?" 

"Well, yeah, but d'you know how much I got paid for those raids?" 

Hanzo laughed. "That is fair. So, in three weeks, I can expect you to be here at the lake with me?" 

"I'll book right after this call." 

"Mhm. I look forward to finishing our business." 

"Huh?" 

Hanzo sighed. " _Sleeping together_ , Jesse." 

"Oh!" Jesse grinned to no one, deciding to overlook how dense Hanzo probably thought he was right now. "Me too, for sure. Been thinkin' about my last night there a lot." 

"Is that so? You should call me next time. Share your thoughts." 

Jesse gave a mock gasp. "Hanzo Shimada, are you suggestin' what I think you are?" 

"...It would be fun." 

"It sure would," Jesse grinned even wider. "Might even share some photographic evidence." 

"Don't say it like  _that_ , you make it sound like a crime scene." 

"That's cause the way I think about you is  _criminal_." 

" _Jesse._ " 

 

 

Jesse never made it to Hanamura. 

It was only ever in retrospect that Jesse realized he'd gotten in over his head in things, and really Deadlock should've seen something like this coming, but they were too used to being to small for the attention of people like Overwatch, and got too confident with their new friends. 

The anonymous strike team swooped in with no warning whatsoever. By the time Jesse realized something was going on, the warehouse had already been overrun by agents dressed in black with no other identification that he could see from a distance. He'd been heading out with his box of cigars for his lunch time call with Hanzo, making small talk with one of the new guys outside Big Earl's when they heard the noise. 

Jesse immediately made a beeline for the diner, the new guy beside him. He ran, weaving in between the old cargo trailers to try to keep his back covered until he made it inside. 

The new guy came right in behind him, ducking under the table of a booth across from where Jesse had hid in a crouch behind the counter. "There's nobody else here!"  

Jesse grunted. He'd hoped there'd be some more guys here, they could've made a good stand with only a few entrances to the building, and plenty of cover. "Shit," he mumbled, checking the load in his pistol and biting his lip, trying to plan his next move. 

"We gotta run." The new guy was too loud. "We're never gonna take 'em out from here." 

The sounds of the gunfight were drawing closer, and Jesse tried to think faster. He could hear shouting, and he wasn't sure if it was his people or the other guys. The voices seemed to get less in number the closer the noises came. "We don't got time to run anymore, there's only one way outta the gorge that doesn't mean jumpin' off a cliff, and they've got it covered already." 

The new guy swore again. "Should never have come here." 

Jesse took a deep breath. "Too late for that kinda talk now too." How did everything go to shit so fast? Maybe if he made for the tunnels outside, he'd manage to make a break for it, or find somewhere to hide out until he  _could_  run. 

He poked his head out above the counter, craning his neck to get a view of the main door. Black uniforms were all he could see. He ducked down again, swearing colorfully in a low whisper. He didn't even have enough bullets to make it out, even if he managed a perfect kill shot with each one.  

"We saw you running in there," a voice called suddenly from outside, loud. "Throw your guns out at the door, raise your hands, and walk out real slow if you don't want to get shot." 

Whoever was speaking was obviously in charge, and they were American, which probably wasn't going to help Jesse at all, but it was important to make as many observations as he could if he had to think his way out of this. He glanced over as he saw the new guy making a move — and a really bad one at that. 

He slid out from under his cover, stood fast, raised his gun, and fell with a bullet right through his chest. They had a sniper with them. The silence afterwards smothered Jesse as he stared at him, lying there limp as blood slowly started to gather in a pool under him.  

It hit Jesse like a ton of bricks that he wasn't getting out of this one. He crawled further across the floor, away from the body, and leaned his back against the inside of the counter, breathing deeply. He drew his phone from his pocket with a shaking hand — he had to get Hanzo, he had to call him and — he just had to speak to Hanzo. 

Before he could even unlock the phone, another bullet flew by in his direction, shattering his phone. He jumped out of his skin as the pieces of it fell around him, and he made his decision. 

"Alright, alright!" he called, dropping his pistol and kicking it away from him. He felt sick to his stomach doing it, but he joined his hands at the back of his head anyway and stumbled to his feet, trying to appear calm as he waited for them to react. No way in hell was he walking out there, they could come get him if they wanted him.  

The person he assumed was the speaker rounded the corner of the entrance, two fancy shotguns pointed right at Jesse. A brief train of thought questioning shotguns in a surprise attack was halted in its tracks when Jesse recognised the man holding them. Who wouldn't, with all the posters from a few years back still floating around? He swore.  

"No talking," Gabriel Reyes glared at him, and gestured with one of his guns to the door. "Walk in front of me. Any wrong moves and you'll make a real ugly body to send back to your folks." 

Jesse pushed the rage and fear down as deep as he could for the time being and obeyed, the broken remains of his only way of contacting Hanzo left behind on the floor of the diner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it and I hope you'll stick with it for the interlude and for part 2!
> 
> Thank you to **several wolflets** for beta reading this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to **several wolflets** for beta reading this chapter.
> 
> I don't really use a personal tumblr, but I am an admin for [mchanzo](http://mchanzo.tumblr.com) on tumblr, so if you like the pairing feel free to follow us! You can also find me hanging around [this McHanzo server](https://discord.gg/ZAJhVEP) on Discord if you want to drop in and say hi!


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